Relationships are bound to evolve like everything else, especially when the partners have made common arrangements. Following the initial enthusiastic adjustment, life is bound to dwindle to a routine set of motions that proclaims a complacent period; but, in its turn, it is apt to break out in bickering. Then there will be more of them. But, on the other hand, you don’t have to move in that direction. There are pieces of advice helping to retain the freshness and the flames. They are nothing much, and yet, people omit to benefit from them.
Don’t go for excessive expectations
We can’t expect people to fulfil all our emotional and spiritual needs. This would be over-expecting and is likely to lead to trying to change your partner – while sound relationship can only be when we let people be what they really are.
Don’t stop conversing
There is no sturdy relationship without quality communication and a good deal of it.
Devote time and concentration to conversing.
Listen attentively, avoid breaking in, don’t plan the conversation beforehand. Make sure you grasp the ideas and implications.
Evince interest; ask to expound; learn about the partner’s every particular experience, attitude, feeling, conclusion.
Make a point of sharing information – it is what relationships thrive on. Demonstrate your self to people, but see to it that you don’t go overboard with too much personal information laid on too thick.
Don’t Take People for Granted
The closer you know a person, the more beautiful things occur between you, and you should be perceptive of them and attribute them to your partner gratefully. Even small things should not pass unnoticed and unremarked – like serving your coffee and toasts when they intuited that you wanted to take a coffee break before you got round to saying it.
As they see their consideration and affection recognized and appreciated, they are sure to reciprocate appreciating you, thereby creating a loving and caring atmosphere.
Let Bygones Be Bygones
Having struck an obstacle and overcome it in a positive way, make a clean break, chalk it up to experience and go on. Never fear it could repeat itself in a worse fashion; don’t make an argument out of it or use it to hang guilt around your partner’s neck. Let the painful incident die its natural death.
Leave the bad things behind to prevent them from smudging your future; by reverting to old sores you don’t let them heal.
Recognize the Necessity to Spend Time Alone
Relationships are based on being together, yet time spent alone may be very precious not only for soul searching but for partnership as well. Constant rubbing of shoulders can overstrain the feeling of privacy and result in irritability. Quality time alone helps regain inner balance, reflect on what is happening and meditate on eternal values.
Remembrances of your dear one, while he or she is away, can add a lot to mutual appreciation and to healthy development. People usually have their own personal spaces even when they live together, and they would expect due respect to be paid to them.
Set Goals to Be Achieved Together
When you both have a project to complete, it’s really marvellous for a relationship, because it embraces many spheres and involves them into your togetherness making it richer. If your work doesn’t provide you with such a project, you can agree upon doing the garden, planning a picnic or creating a work of art.
Discuss what it will be fun to create together so you can work as a team, achieve the desired result and even display it to others to experience moments of pride!
Remain Yourself Always
The pretence to be someone else other than yourself can be amusing for a while, but eventually, you will find that being yourself makes you happy and light-hearted. Also, relationships feel much better when you are up-front.
Don’t Lower the Level
When you two left behind self-awareness and have attained a level of comfort, it will surely lead to shifts in your behavior. You may no longer tolerate long preparations for dinner so as to make your appearance impeccable, and then you look and see that your partner is wearing the same clothes as yesterday. And both of you couldn’t care less.
Actually, it’s nothing unseemly and can add to your closeness. But when taken too far, it will definitely be a bad thing. If people begin to seriously neglect their hygienic habits or their place is starting to look like shambles, this would be overdoing it. Emptied food boxes can be left strewn over the floor, but it’s better if they are picked up quite soon.
So if you happily find the acceptable level of untidiness on which you both feel quite comfortable without overstepping the mark, that will also go to strengthen your relationship.
Trust Your Partner
Putting unconditional trust in your partner is not so easy, even more, difficult for those who experienced unfaithfulness and cheating before. You may be insecure about something, and that will darken your affection. In this case, you need to have it out with your partner in an open-hearted conversation. Also, consider undergoing therapy for a better understanding that you may be punishing your partner for another person’s faults.
Be fair in a Conflict
You can hardly expect a relationship without conflicts. They grow out of disagreements and usually don’t signify that you have fallen out of love.
If you want to talk over your disagreements, make sure you have cooled down first. Don’t fall into the trap of talking heatedly and saying things you don’t really mean, but for which you will be sorry afterwards.
Instead of laying blame explain your attitude and your feelings – it will enable understanding and help find ways towards settling the issue.
Address the problem and not the partner; clearly expound on what it was exactly that made you feel bad without criticizing and passing judgments.
Try to keep to the point – when you begin to drag in all the incidents that have been nettling you lately, the talk will become utterly ignominious. Try to do without accusations with the words “never” and “always.”
Own up to your mistakes. If you feel you were in the wrong, render apologies thereby clearing the atmosphere to some extent, if not all the way.
Consider if the current problem can be solved at a sitting: not all of them are so easy to sort out. You are hardly so alike that you see eye to eye in all matters. You are bound to differ in some situations, and you must use communication to clear the space between you and get to understand your partner’s stand in the matter. Don’t expect people to change their innate beliefs, you cannot demand that rightfully. Live to accept it instead of keeping to maul the other where they are unable to yield.
