Every one of us has got someone who knows what we really are and likes us for that; unfortunately, it doesn’t follow that all our manners and behaviors are equally appreciated. Relationships may develop rifts because of tight schedules and new concerns, but in addition to those factors, we sometimes indulge in outbreaks of bad behaviors that can rub our friends the wrong way. Here are ways you might be behaving that keep pushing people away.
Displaying jealousy of other people
Why waste your emotions on being jealous or envious? If you do it, it just means that you pay more attention to others’ pleasures and happiness rather than yours. This attitude is totally unproductive. Make a point of not drawing comparisons between your and other destinies.
Your destiny takes you to your places and shows you your things; you are not meant to compare it with anything else. You are living your personal scenario, and comparison in it exists only in terms of what you are now against what you were last year (or last month).
Those who are given to frequent furious outbursts receive an understanding response – or their fury gets accepted and blown up. In both cases, such outbursts are toxic to the relationship. Besides, they often conceal helplessness, and your interlocutor may become aware of that. They may be very reluctant to share or get involved in your violent feelings.
Customarily taking things close to the heart
Very discomfiting are those people who believe everything that is going on in their vicinity is related to their person (and oftentimes goings-on can be regarded as threatening). In reality, though, when people interact with you it is more related to their characters than yours. They are focused on their goals, expectations, maybe fears.
All these factors are usually responsible for their good or bad opinion about you.
Constant urgent mindset
When it seems that all your affairs require exigency, you are unable to relax because if you go slack you believe your affairs may start crumbling immediately. So you keep planning your steps to be taken and lose touch with the present time.
Requiring regular validation
We need regular injections of validation of how clever and wonderful we are, so we can sometimes demand it from our nearest and dearest. Doing it often can result in dependency – you will be relying on others instead of having your own ideas about the current state of things.
It’s true that how other people see us can be quite important for us, but on the other hand, it’s wrong to rely entirely on your reputation; your latest social media uploads can bring you a lot of likes and comments, but it doesn’t show you are so popular. Your desire to be loved and recognized is addressed to other people, yet it’s essential that you have strong positive feelings about yourself.
Inability to come to terms with frustration
Maybe you have come to the point when everything gets on your nerves with appalling quickness. Something goes awry, and before you realize it you fly off the handle. You need others’ help to keep your shirt on.
An individual who will always find something to pick on in every particular case is really a difficult person to have around: they are apt to act like wet blankets and kill joy everywhere they go.
Rehashing that never stops
We all know at least one person who seems programmed to repeat the same episodes from their life (more often than not, in the same words). Their self-repeating doesn’t worry them any, and they seem to believe that it goes for everybody else, too. They are so deep in this rehashing that they may lose the sense of its productivity – and of the necessity to acquire some new knowledge.
Ignoring or resenting criticism
None of us is infallible, and it’s no use to make out we are! It is unnerving to face our own faulty decisions or actions, but we grow when we derive the strength to go on from our downtrodden state. Accepting criticism can add significantly to developing just this kind of inner strength.
Those shutting their ears against advice and criticism do prevent any chance of personal development. What’s more, people around them no longer feel they can communicate openly with advice-haters.
Playing the leading role
If you want to feel close relationship with others, you comprehend it’s impossible with egocentric behavior. People whose talk is always centered about their own sweet self, who never inquire after your affairs and fail to keep abreast of your life, turn attention to themselves only, do not support closeness. They may be fun and charming, but there will hardly be anything intimate in socializing with them.
Being constantly victimized
Nothing bright ever happens to such individuals – and they invariably have a long list of reasons explaining why they are on an unsuitable job or with a toxic partner! Oftentimes their conversations are nothing but a train of endless complaints and stories of how they have been wronged.
Those who have recognized themselves should realize that this desire to make oneself out a victim is likely to lead to actually being one! True, life is full of things that are beyond our control, but if we assume a passive position we begin to believe we won’t ever be able to change things in our favor. We stop to help ourselves and don’t attempt to make any headway.
Never being on time
There are those for whom it is impossible to turn up in good time anywhere. This habit is really exasperating, and there is nothing to be done about it. Bad time management lies beyond this: such offenders are unable to plan their activities carefully and switch on to something else when the time comes. Their reaction to relevant remarks would be either passive or full of irritation for being reprimanded.
Some people never stop minding that there are those aiming at their wallets. They live their days in ceaseless attempts to outsmart their financial enemies. They bargain hard wherever they go, hang on to their money closely, are on a permanent alert for schemes to do them out of their dollars. With them, others are always at fault. No-one is eligible for their generosity (for they don’t possess any). Their financial standards remain unaltered.
Being addicted to gossip
Your having a company of positively-minded friends means that neither they nor you are in the habit of discussing others behind their backs in a negative context. It’s normal for any conversation to contain some references of a gossiping nature, but you know that it makes a vast difference with somebody passing judgment or derogating people you all know deliberately.
Now if all of you have prospects, goals, and important subjects to discuss, and you are busy exchanging information and helpful advice, you will find your time too occupied to start gossiping about others’ businesses – your own interests are foremost on your brains!
Now have you found any behaviors that you would want out of your life? Do you think you can change your socializing for the better?