In my relationship with a man, everything has become familiar, boring and dreary… Does it sound familiar? Every couple has a moment when there seems to be no possibility to keep living together. Look at your partner in a new way. Click on “start” and reboot the relationship. How to make your marriage happy again?
Getting rid of the past
If the couple wants to move on, you need to remove the burden of past grievances. Look at each other with new eyes – like a stranger. Are you sure you know each other well?
Many couples have the same problem – the inability to forgive. To live happily together, you need to let go of even such a difficult situation as cheating.
If a couple wants to experience a miracle – a reset of relationships – then both should start living from scratch. Otherwise, after some time, the relationship will slide into the same area where it used to be before.
Try to get to know each other again. For fun, tell each other about yourself as if you just met for the first time. Ask each other questions about hobbies and values. What else did you learn about your partner, what did you feel in the process of “another acquaintance”?
Creating a common foundation
Find a common goal if it is lost. Ask yourself: why are we together? What are we looking for in these relationships? What do they give us? Let everyone honestly answer these questions. A crisis often comes when a common goal seems to be achieved, for example, the children have grown up and left home, the house is built, the apartment is equipped – so what’s next?
The spouses must create a new common goal and clearly define it. For example, their goal may be a trip to Europe, which has been dreamed of for many years. Or a new hobby, a new field of activity. Or just a joyful life together.
The following questions will help: “What do I want to do with you? What benefits will our relationship bring?”
Developing relationships and cultivating love
Ask yourself two key questions: “What do I see in you that is worthy of my love?” and “What can I do to be worthy of your love?” This is the basis for a dialogue on the topics: “What do you like about me – what character traits, habits, actions? And what do I like about you? Why do you appreciate and respect me? And why do I appreciate and respect you? What can we teach each other? What can we give to each other?”
At this stage, it is very important to learn to constantly realize the value of another person, the value of their attention and care.
Focus on what you gain when you are together, not on what you lack.
Exploring the needs of each other
It is not always easy to understand what our partner really needs. Quarrels, misunderstandings, and estrangement are usually the result of unmet needs. It is important to understand what your partner needs, what you can provide and what remains insufficient.
Which of your needs are satisfied by the loved one? Which are not? What can we do for each other to “fill in” the gaps?
Sincerity is a necessary condition for a productive conversation.
After such open discussions, amazing and comical things often come to the surface. For example, a husband and wife both hate oatmeal, but eat it for breakfast, believing that the other person likes it. Or the husband does not like how his wife parodies his mother…
Such household trifles have enormous destructive power. At the same time, other little things can work wonders. Let’s say it will be a huge gift for a wife if her husband starts making coffee for her on Sundays. Or she will sometimes buy him beer, which he likes. Or she will wear skirts because he likes it. At this stage, we learn to be more sensitive, attentive, and caring towards each other. We learn to give, not just take.
Organization of meetings
Are there many moments in your life when you are truly close? A lack of soulful encounters is one of the main causes of emotional hunger and longing, feelings that many couples experience as the years go by. To feel in love with each other again, create as many situations in your life as possible in which you experience strong, vivid emotions together. It is very important to break out of the usual daily circle. Organize your life so that you have the opportunity to go out together once a week, without children: to the theater, cinema, a museum, a concert or for a walk in the city center.
Spend time with each other. Remember what pleases the other person – make them such a surprise.
Watch a movie together and share your impressions. Read the same book – find out what the other person thinks about it. Organize a short trip or rent a hotel for one night, as if you were dating. Try to relive it all over again. Such moments give a very strong charge.
Each couple manages to find something different – and have their own unique experience. A family crisis is an indicator that living together has become a habit, that it has lost its charm. It is worth thinking about a new meaning and experience that will help you re-discover each other.