It doesn’t matter at all whether adultery happened once or lasted for some time. All cheaters regret the same thing. Sometimes cheaters suffer no less than the one they cheated on.
That the relationship will never be the same
The news of cheating changes the relationship forever. Firstly, the trust is lost forever, and it is possible to return it only after a titanic effort of both partners. Probably not without the help of a psychologist.
Secondly, cheating hooks and pulls out all the problems in a relationship, and they have to be discussed (this is very painful), and the partners need to reach new agreements (this is very difficult). Third, the relationship can end forever.
In most cases, the cheater would not want to provoke such large-scale changes in his life, so he is very sorry that he has crossed the line.
That the partner was not appreciated
The threat of separating makes you feel so strongly why these very relationships and the partner are dear to you. Before cheating, a person focuses on everything that is bad in a loved one, and after it they suddenly begin to see that there was just as much good, and perhaps more. It was just taken for granted and depreciated.
As a rule, the cheater regrets about their action, and the desire to preserve all the best becomes the foundation for a new round in developing the relationship.
That they lost their freedom
Earlier, the partners used to give each other a huge credit of trust and freedom of action, but then the fact of treason divides them into two militant camps. Even if they decide to stay together, one will constantly suspect, be jealous and control every step of the other, while the other will have to report where with whom he was and what he did.
The cheater regrets very much that betrayal has deprived him of his former freedom and it has to be won over again.
That they made the beloved one suffer
Some cheaters curse their intemperance because they see how the loved one is tormented and worried about their cheating. Here’s how it turns out: I wanted to have fun and add color to life. Well, I got it. But it was a fleeting moment, and the pain of the loved one and their own pain will remain in the couple for a long time or even destroy it immediately.
That you didn’t trust your loved one
Cheating rarely occurs quickly and from scratch. At first, for some reason, you cannot talk to your beloved heart to heart, share the pain. Perhaps to keep him or her from worrying. At this moment, the intimacy begins to melt because instead of a partner there is another person who is ready to listen and understand. Sympathy arises for him, and so does the desire. More often than not, cheating happens.
If there was an opportunity to undo the action, the cheater would be surprised to find that the loved one is able to withstand the problem, console, and cheer. But there is no such possibility, it remains only to scold oneself for evading, keeping silent and looking for support on the side.
Those sex problems could have been solved differently
Men most often cheat because they lack sex in a marriage. They find a partner, who is not burdened with everyday life, children, and worries. She does not want to fall asleep facing the wall at the end of a hard day.
Having received the desired sex, many cheaters are surprised to discover that they actually like their marriage. They love and appreciate their partner and are grateful to her for taking care of the house and the children. They don’t want to get divorced just because they lack sex.
They continue to cheat while experiencing a tremendous sense of guilt and feeling hopeless. They do not even suspect that they could support their partner, help her with the chores, share many worries with her, pay attention and give her a little freedom. Most often, deeply married women have a surge of libido from this.
That adultery brought no joy
Many are looking for sex outside their marriage, subconsciously thinking that it will solve their problems. But such sex gives only temporary relief, as well as the feelings of guilt, shame, pain. After such an adventure, cheaters often feel even greater emptiness than before. Now they have to lie, hide, try not to say too much and pretend even more that everything in their life is normal.
More often than not, cheaters regret making this mess. Because the effort and the consequences were absolutely not worth the result.
It also happens that cheaters feel no pricks of conscience. So they regret more selfish things.
That he/she confessed cheating
It happens that the very confession of cheating occurs spontaneously, during some kind of abuse and quarrels. After such a confession, there will be nothing but tears and regret. Aggression is also possible. But as a result, every cheater then regrets that he has told about it.
That he/she said nasty things during a quarrel
The confession is followed by conversations or major scandals and quarrels. In a fit of anger, any person is able to say a lot of nasty things. Of course, all people later regret what was said, but after such unpleasant news of cheating, a lot of nasty things are shared, as a rule.
Regrets the decision to go to his mistress
As a rule, the decision to go to the lover is based on the fact that it is seemingly better there, and the grass looks greener there. It will be different, but not always better. Over time, a person also gets bored, the passion fades away, and everyday life prevails. So more often than not, all these are just intrigues and ways to amuse your pride, proving to yourself that someone else likes you.
That he confessed his love to his mistress
Confession takes place in the same way as is told in the previous paragraph. Everything seems to be perfect, unlike in the family. On the one hand, it is easy and calm here. On the other hand, there are constant problems in the family, abuses, and rules. But everything looks so simple precisely because there are no obligations. As soon as you confess your love, problems will appear because the mistress has certain expectations that must be followed.
At first, new relationships on the side are interesting, they capture all your attention and are, in all respects, better than the existing marriage. But over time, the same problems appear as in the marriage. So what’s the point in cheating and making the loved ones and then yourself unhappy?