We always put a lot of hope into each new burgeonong relationship. At first it seems to be plain sailing, but after a while clouds begin to appear on the horizon. Doubts set in whether he is really so much into it and wants your mutual feelings to grow – or is he trying to avoid further commitment and development?
Anyway, his attitude will show. By doing some observing and analyzing, you can get a glimpse of which way the wind is blowing and probably save yourself unnecessary pain when your hopes start crashing down around you. Are you heading for nowhere? There are some signs that will show it as clearly as if you were actually told about it.
Oh these men who live their lives afraid of committing themselves to a woman! They can vanish all of a sudden when they think things are shaping in the way they don’t want them to, but resurface when they’re least expected and go on playing with our hearts.
Really, in the long run it isn’t worth the trouble. If you mean to get yourself a good man who will stand by you and make you happy for years and not for weeks, check out the symptoms by which you can look into his heart for intimacy phobia.
Often off on a business trip
Too many business trips make such a good excuse to get out of commitments, agreements, responsibilities. In any kind of relationship they offer the man very convenient grounds for cheating. A commitment phobe just loves this means of shaking you off every time he feels like it. He will say he is not happy about it, but is he really?
He doesn’t introduce you to his circle of people and likewise doesn’t want to meet your friends
Does he make an endless string of excuses to explain you why so far you have failed to meet his family members and friends? Does he shy away from meeting yours? A clear sign of a commitment phobe.
He puts himself out to charm
Such people put in a lot of charm in the first base intending to secure your affection for him. As soon as they are sure they’ve got you where they want you, the charm begins to fade away quickly.
His plans are ever changing
You want to spend time with him, but it just doesn’t come out. He is either late, busy or simply stands you up. According to him, it has to be this way, and it’s not his fault. Well, he isn’t a victim of circumstances, he just wants out.
You end up being wrong wanting to see him
Do you want to spend more time with him? That is no good reason to be calling you a drama queen, a girl who tends to overreact and get at him for not complying with your wishes. See if he tries to manipulate you by blaming you.
All his relationships are broken
Ask him about his past relationships. Does he drag a tail of split relationships because girls refused to understand him and go along with him? A bad sign, and don’t go deluding yourself about it.
A chase-hungry fella
Playing a game of love, drawing you closer when he feels you are slipping away, but building walls when he thinks you have gotten too close? He can do it all the time, tiring you out in the process.
Drink, drugs, sex and gambling are his things
That’s a common symptom of one who is not in terms with his own life. Would you want him to share with you his desire to gamble his life away? Has he got a lot more to give you? Chances are you don’t want what he can share and he is married to his addiction.
The toothbrush symptom
What, you came such a long way and he still doesn’t want your toothbrush on his sink? You can start asking why. That surely sounds as if he was being cagey. Can he provide a tenable answer for that?
Using cliches to keep you off
When the man tries to fob you off with old cheeses like ‘I like to take things slowly,’
‘I don’t want to be hurt again,’ or ‘I don’t want to be labeled,’ you can have great doubts whether his heart will ever be yours.
You feel he’s bored
As his calls and messages grow fewer and farther between, he definitely no longer seems to be excited by communicating with you. He may have other goals to chase, or maybe it’s just his way of letting you down smoothly. Whatever, it’s a danger signal.
He treats you casually
If you are not a top priority with him, it will show in many a situation. He gets in touch at large intervals? Makes you presents and invites you out but rarely? And how does he introduce you to the people he knows? Think whether he shows to other people that you are important in his life.
Controlling and lying
Is that his way of arranging your relationship? A commitment phobe will maintain control over you (at least as far as you are together) but will never let you have the slightest control over his behavior and other commitments. He wants freedom far more than he wants you, and lies is his habitual way of hiding his life from you.
Your relationship is going nowhere
Commitment phobes generally run the same scenario. First they step on the gas, putting themselves across as caring and attentive fellows, leading you on and making you expect a lot. Then the well runs dry very quickly as they think the relationship is becoming dangerously close. Their emotional attitude gets stale, the contact becomes erratic, they beg out of dates. In other words, they want no commitments.
You meet at your place
When a man means not to let you get too close, his bed is good evidence of that. He doesn’t want you in his bed because it will make you familiar with his home and his way of life. He feels as if he’s losing control to you.
Does he often talk of you together?
Is a usual word in his vocabulary “I” or “we”? The plans he makes ought ot include you if he’s serious about the relationship, right? The frequent use of “we” will prove that he puts you in the picture… and the opposite also holds true.
