Life is so abundant that it takes long years to realize what is vital for us (and what we can do without). As we begin to understand ourselves better and better we get to know that life often means a long journey to our inner selves. Gaining one’s inner self is something that isn’t easily explained, but having gotten a step closer to it you feel it at once. You get to grow more self-sufficient and more motivated, drawn to the goals you set. Maybe you have already pondered over the question of who you really are, but didn’t know how to set about finding it out. But the starting point is always NOW, and some of the initial steps are quite simple.
You need quiet
No discovery has been made on the run. In order to dig into a topic seriously you have to slow down. People are hampered in knowing themselves because of the bustle around. You need quiet. True, sometimes demons live in the quietness, but you will have your battles.
The complicated task of exploring your soul and evaluating yourself requires clarity of vision and approaching every part of yourself with truthfulness. It is to be done alone without distracting noise of life.
Browse over your ideal self
From the start we get a lot of advice and guidelines – from our parents and teachers, relatives and bosses. If you feel that you keep gliding smoothly along these rails, it may be you haven’t taken time to think about yourself.
While there’s nothing wrong with conformism, you can exist outside the main stream. If you feel your way lies elsewhere, learn fresh ideas that you can accept for the sole reason of liking them.
People live by others’ standards and for others for the very reason they don’t have an idea of who they really are. It is not bad, but it may not bring you happiness.
When you want to get closer to yourself, pose questions like these:
- What do I want to have and to be?
- How will I live 5 years from now?
- Do I have any regrets?
- What are my motivating forces?
- Can I be missing anything?
- How do the choices I make influence my life?
- What achievements or traits can I take pride in?
If you get at least some of the answers, you will know what direction to take. If you are still at sea, try and recall a time of happiness or blissfulness and analyze what it was that caused that state.
Pin down what you excel at and what you are bad at
You ought to have some understanding about the things that you are skilled at. It is more difficult with the things you bungle: on the one hand, you can go on developing in that sphere, on the other hand piling up efforts might not get you any further.
It’s up to you to quit in good time. When you see that you have invested too much in something but receive less-than-adequate returns, you decide when it is time to fold the situation and address yourself to more fruitful pastures.
Giving up when you feel spent and sure that any further effort would be useless is a mature decision. Thus you regain passion and drive that will come in handy for a more productive venture. Invest in your strong points.
Learn more about your passions
A passionate attitude is what makes our lives richer and more purposeful. Passions can be either simple or complex, either work-related or directed at totally different targets. Get to know them well, think what would gladden your heart on a free day, what brightens your life and makes you fire up.
Spend some time on a comprehensive list of your passions and delights and find one which would suit any given situation to give you a sense of enjoyment.
Be always ready to start anew from scratch
Now, this isn’t so difficult as it may seem as long as you adhere to a worked-out moral principle. First, use it to get rid of unhealthy habits – drinking and eating too much, smoking. All these things can become a big stumbling block on the road to your dream. Besides, they make you hazy about your goals and are hardly compatible with a meaningful and rewarding life.
Your position at the steering wheel of your life requires all your effort which can be lost in drinking.
Discover things you haven’t tried yet
If you are fairly low on passions and hobbies, fine – you can take up new and exciting ones. The world is full of possibilities, you can take advantage of that! See what new things you will find enjoyable. Make use of free learning classes, visit local clubs to see what they offer, go to the Internet for relevant information.
Get feedback where you can
For those who find it hard to analyze themselves other people’s opinions can be of significant help. Not to make it too complicated, begin with two main points: which good qualities you can build your life on and which weaknesses you should try to rectify.
Your friends’ and relatives’ feedback could be a big insight because none of us can see ourselves from the outside. Some traits are better observed from the inside, whereas with others it is a contrary thing.
Pin down the qualities you value most
Pondering over your nature, remember to consider your valued principles, qualities, and ideas. What you hold meaningful reflects your nature, and not only – they reflect your desired lifestyle, desired relationships and the whole environment about you.
If you get your values deeply embedded in your mind and build your life about integrity, loyalty and other principles, you will find your path easier to walk. So if you are uncertain about your values, take pains to clarify them for your own good. Explain to yourself what these words mean for you.
Make the world around you organized
The more affairs you must accomplish, the greater is the need for excellent time management. You will feel master in control when you know that you have arranged all your affairs in perfect order and deal with them one by one with exemplary efficaciousness. Don’t prevaricate and tackle all issues straightaway. You will have more time and a feeling of fulfillment.
Avoid the trap of believing you have to be loved by everyone around
As someone around you really starts anew from a clean slate, the reactions of people to that could cover a wide range of emotions, including such unpleasant ones as resentment, jealousy, disbelief. Of course, when the individual grows more self-confident and assertive (in short, more mature), people will begin to like them more. But when the changes take root, they can affect the relationships. Those involved will have to admit they themselves have a similar job to do, and they may not take to it gladly. If later on, they get round to a fairer understanding, fine; if they don’t, they had better get left behind. You have outgrown them.
Be ready for a life of service
The most rewarding and fulfilling life there is the life of public service. It gives a clear sense of purpose and an understanding of your status in society. Surrounded by a lot of people who need help, lack self-confidence and strength, you begin to lose your own issues because they grow feebler and weaker.
With such an arrangement, you will end up with a clear-cut understanding of what you possess, what your real opportunities are, and a grand vision of your true inner self. Your life will be lying mapped out in front of you and the world will become crystal clear. It’s a wonderful feeling!