No matter how much love and empathy you and your partner share, now and then both of you feel an urgent need to give vent to some accumulated irritation and chagrin. It is not a bad sign if you burn inside to complain about your partner’s shortcomings; it’s happened to anyone else, it’s your turn now. Just how ordinary are the complaints you two chalk up against one another? Or is it the same old stuff going round and round?
With men it’s usually so. There may be short outbreaks of something special, but in the end it all returns to a few offences which are old as hills. Here are men’s customary grudges.
Women are never tired of getting at us
It seems that after some time into marriage practically every woman begins to drive her hubby on and on, ever expecting something greater than there is. Probably among women it is looked upon as a reminder, but men clearly don’t think so. It may seem to your partner that whatever he does, it ends up not in appreciation, but in criticism. Ergo, pick up a shield and a spear, to protect yourself and hit back! Half an hour of bickering ensues. Will it make the situation better next time? Hardly. So why not choose another approach: explain why it’s difficult to you to do this chore and tell him that you would like to enlist his help. Afterwards show him that he has made your life a mite easier and brighter – and do away with the bickering!
This unceasing flow of talk, talk, talk gets us down
Although this complaint is perfectly explainable from the psychological point of view, or maybe because of this, it still persists. The gist за women’s conversation can be negative or positive – it doesn’t signify: there’s too much of it. Women are known to be quicker thinkers, while men’s capability of listening and registering ideas is on the slower side. So, women wait for response and doesn’t get it. They believe they haven’t been listened to properly, while men feel inundated by information. So, the good idea is to let your man express his opinion at перу beginning of the topic and then give him time to process what is being discussed at leisure.
Kids weigh in too heavily
As the family expands, the relationship within it alters, and these alterations are apt to be dramatic. Governed by instinct, women begin to lavish their attention on the baby, and men may feel they’re left out of the picture. Naturally, babies come first at that period; your hubby is not going to deny that. Still it’s up to you to make a point of showing him by little signs of attention that he retains his position in your heart. Schedule time for you to refresh your feelings to each other periodically.
Our sex life is not so active as it used to be
Customarily men want their fun between the sheets more often than women, and nobody wants to cut off the physical side of the relationship. You hit the time when your desires do not match? You may want to give (rather than to receive) now and again. The capacity to give when it doesn’t come very easy is one feature of good relationship. As each of you minds the other’s wishes and does what they know their partner will surely enjoy, it creates a purpose which is one of the basics of a stable relationship. Keep looking for terms that will be (though partly) satisfactory for both of you.
If you both keep trying to meet halfway, still the situation doesn’t seem to get better, it’s not the reason to let things slide. Agree to see a therapist you are ready to put your trust in and allow yourselves to be led to a quiet haven where you will eventually be happy.