There always are signals for everything that is incipient and about to enter our lives soon. It’s up to us to know and recognize them.
So you’re starting to entertain suspicions that your partner may be unfaithful to you… Now, this is difficult – you should be careful not to overstep the line, play a private eye and become frenzied about it. You need to know, but before you come to know exactly, why spoil your life by throwing accusations which may be false?
Recognizing that one really should step carefully, let’s share red signals that may help us clear up the situation. We want to know we’re in for cheating before the game gets too long; on the other hand, we ought to protect our piece of mind and avoid letting uncontrollable emotions get the better of us. It isn’t a good reason to let paranoia set in and destroy your relationship beyond recovery.
Set yourself to understand the situation fully, not forgetting about the signals that can give you clues to what is going on.
Decrease of sex
You know that a man can’t go having sex anytime in any amount, there are physiological limitations. So when he begins to want less sex it might be a sign that he is having some on the side. Of course, he may just have become interested in porn movies and adult stuff – or he may have worries plaguing him at work – there may be reasons for that, but all the same, it signifies nothing good for your relationship.
He becomes nervy about his phone calls
When everything is above board, it doesn’t matter to us if our partner – or anyone else for that matter – gets to know about our incoming texts and calls. Usually, calls and messages are not supposed to cause instant secretiveness and attempts to walk out of the hearing range with cell phones. Once he starts to act cagily about his phone communications, things may be going wrong.
Speaking about somebody with enthusiasm
When there’s a person who really excites you, you begin to feel exhilarated and it’s hard to dump this sensation down. You feel the compulsion to talk about this person. So he is gushing about a nice girl he met – and somehow you don’t seem to come across her socially. So you are moving in two different worlds, and he cannot have both. What will it result in?
Emotional bond weakens
Every relationship is bound to pass through its up- and down phases, and there will be periods when you would feel as if he were gliding away somewhere. It may be the result of his cheating, but equally well it may be caused by more innocuous reasons. Anyway, if you feel he is getting distant, it requires looking into. You won’t want to lose his passion and spontaneity, and you need to know why they aren’t there for you – what if they are given to somebody else?
He performs vanishing tricks
Once he starts disappearing for large periods, unavailable for calls – it may be a sign of his being with somebody else, appointments he doesn’t want to be interrupted or disturbed. Secret trysts are not easy to synch up with different schedules, and they must be appreciated. If it grows, it might be a signal of danger.
His friends get shady
Through thick and thin, his friends are sure to take his side and stay loyal. If his relationship with you is changing, they won’t let it on; yet when talking to you they will be feeling guilty because they are taking part in the deception. They can no longer be comfortable with you being aware they have something to hide.
You found him out lying about other stuff
Now and again we find our partners out on lies, often about trifling matters – but it is not pleasant anyway. While it is certainly better to forgive and let small lies pass by, it doesn’t mean it’s good for your relationship. This is cheating behavior, and if it is not threatening your union now, it can easily do it at a later date. Once you realize you are dealing with an inveterate liar, shake him off and don’t wait until his lies grow so big it hurts you.
He’s done it before
A cheater is highly unlikely to change his habits. He can attempt to persuade you that he will do it for you, but cheating’s in his blood, and the change may be subject to change. If you know that some time ago he had other lovers because his then-partner was unable to make him totally satisfied, it’s not a red signal, but a whole row of signals. People are known to have blundered, and they need to be given a break, true – but then again, you want to be as sure as you can about your future together, and it’s up to you to be chary and don’t put down your defenses too soon.
You feel it in your bones
Your gut feeling is here to warn you about things. When you begin to get that creepy feeling that something in your relationship has gone bad – although you have no inkling what exactly it might be, and how important it can be – don’t stuff it away into the back of your mind, try to get a clearer picture of why you are worried. Trust your senses and focus on what it is that arouses your discomfiture.
This short list of red signals is far from being complete. The good idea for you is to work out your own set of signals that will help you get out of a situation that can turn out bad for you. Cheaters are sure to give themselves away one way or another, and it’s worth your while to be able to notice (or Intuit) when you’re up against one. Good luck in avoiding cheaters’ clutches!