Socializing doesn’t always run smoothly – as we all know only too well. Out of the blue appear people whose attitude is nothing short of infuriating, often when we don’t feel like taking a lot of this treatment. Sometimes it’s not that someone is badly at fault, it just happens that interests clash, leaving you stranded. And some of them might even annoy you intentionally, leaving you furious. This leaves you with a lot of anger that requires venting, and it is injurious to your relationship with different people and to your overall state. You may have to use techniques to cope with your flaring emotions.
First, keep in mind that other people don’t know your feelings
It may well be that exasperating people are unaware that they are creating a disturbance. Without being actually rude you can give them an intimation that you are displeased with what is going on.
You don’t have to feel irritated – maybe they deserve your pity
Often people’s bad feelings make them get at others. In this case, they are to be pitied rather than lashed at – maybe they are in worse condition than you are!
It isn’t related to you personally
If your irritating interlocutor is a jerk, it is not that they aim at you – it may be their habitual manner of treating people.
A timeout will help
Timeouts are usually mentioned when dealing with kids – yet they do the job for everybody. If your day puts more strain upon you, arrange for timeouts. A few timely breaks can do away with your irritation and leave you in a better state of mind to go through the day’s motions.
Are you sure it was done deliberately?
It can be that they didn’t mean to drive you mad at all.
Think how you will look if you fly off the handle
You may be totally in the right, yet if you hit the roof at the end you might come across as a small-minded, unreasonable person – it won’t be worth your while.
Do the counting
You feel you can’t go on? Get busy counting from 1 to 10 (or backward). If the annoyance is too intense, count to 50 or 100. Your heart rate will start coming down, soothing your mood.
Keep repeating a mantra in your head
Go on repeating something calming in your mind – phrases like “I feel relaxed” or “I fly above all worries.” Make your breathing deeper.
Prepare your riposte in advance
You can avoid an outburst if you come up with a response to an annoying situation or think up your attitude in advance. Get several various responses ready and rehearse them – this will help you tackle the situation at hand with assurance.
Take a walk
Any exercise is sure to be good for frayed nerves and incipient anger. Step out for a stroll, and take out your bike or your ball. Stretch your limbs in any way suitable for the occasion and watch how it improves your mood.
Draw a line between the anger and the irritation you feel in every situation
So you have dealings with somebody who is really able to drive you mad – and they go on driving you beyond the pale! You realize that if you burst out, it will make things look silly. Understand that your anger doesn’t have to do with the person and how you should respond.
You can find yourself unable to walk out of the situation – but if you can do it, jump at the distraction. It’s fine if you are in a position to do some yoga so you won’t overtire yourself but embrace quietude and see the world in a different light.
Remember to stay calm to really annoy those who want to annoy others
When somebody is really out to get your goat, they do it to take you out of yourself; they want to see you livid. If you manage to stay collected, you deny them the pleasure. Then it is you who irritates them, not the other way round.
Resort to empathy
Look through the eyes of the other fellow – they are certain to see the whole situation from a different viewpoint. As you acquire an opposite view of what is going on, the new realization can make you feel not so incited.
Avoid speaking unreservedly
You can easily blurt out things you did not mean and may regret the next instant. So, before you commit yourself to voice a serious opinion, make a pause and marshal your thoughts for better wording. Let others pause for the same effect.
Distract for music
Music belongs to the strongest distractions. Go down to your car and play some music as loud as it is admissible. You may not even notice how your irritation will evaporate.
Make an entry in your diary
If you want to express yourself so strongly but cannot afford to – why not write it out? Sit down and journal your feelings and your clever biting remarks in writing. You may be able to gain a new view of the situation and work out a more effective line.
Go easy on grudges
To forgive is a great deed and a strong placement of yourself in the positive. While others get stuck with their raving anger or wallow in bitter feelings, a forgiving person is blissfully free of negativity and can proceed with their life. By learning to forgive somebody for inflicted annoyance you make your relationship healthier.
Replace anger with humor
As tension grows and the situation becomes more unnerving, it would be so proper to use a little humor to soften it up. Humor can reduce anger and reveal any unfeasible ideas the interlocutors might cherish. Don’t be acid and sarcastic – it can worsen the tempers.
Find a suitable expression for your anger
If you feel you have your emotions in check, you are right to show that you are angered. If you flare up, you can spoil the conversation, but if you show controlled anger, you may send the other fellow a warning they can use to their advantage. Besides, admitting you got incensed can diminish the stress.
Use a lot of tact
Remind yourself: it is not that the individual is an offender – the issue at hand causes controversy. The other guy may also be worried about it, or be unaware that you are taking it so hard. As you sort out the issue, acknowledge your irritation, but check it so it won’t add to the heat. An outburst on your part is certain to put your interlocutor on the defense or reply in kind.
Be on the alert for projection
Now what can really be annoying is when the other guy reveals a weak point that we suspect we possess ourselves. Analyze the annoying situation to see whether it has made you think about your weaknesses and shortcomings. Maybe that is what drives you so mad.
Be on the watch out for those who are irrational arguers
Some people merely like to argue for argument’s sake. They had better be avoided – you don’t have to explain to them that it is childish to bicker over trifles, neither do you need to take part in fruitless activity.
Take it slow and breathe mindfully
Set yourself to breathe fully, involving the diaphragm, without undue haste. As you concentrate on mindful breathing, your stress will start fading away.
Step out of the situation in your mind
If you can, find a quiet spot; if you cannot, just close your eyes. Try to picture yourself in a remote spot where there is nothing to get at you. There is the sea in front of you. Watch the wavelets on the water. There are hills to your right. Observe their greenery. Try to hear birds calling out to one another. You will forget your anger in several minutes.
See that your muscles aren’t taut
Progressive muscle relaxation is a technique that involves first tensing, then relaxing one group of muscles after another.
Find a suitable distraction
In many cases, you will be unable to turn and walk away; look around for any worthy distraction. Find a piece of the room decoration and contemplate it letting it engage your attention completely.
Go for creativity
Anger means energy, so it’s up to you how to use it! You can re-channel it into a creative activity – write verses about your gloomy mood or express yourself in drawing a picture of an outraged individual. Employ your fury as a muse and be imaginative!
Call on gratitude for help
Do you believe that things are irrevocably wrong? It is the very time to think about something that is right. As you focus on your advantageous spheres, your anger loses its grip on you and you feel free.
Consider the necessity of professional assistance
Anger does defy control. If it proves too burdensome for you to stand, maybe you need assistance – it can be better than if you do something regrettable or say hurtful or offensive things that you will have to live down.