Why Moving On After A Breakup Is So Hard?

Have you recently broken up with your partner? Then, you certainly wish to magically skip the painful and miserable period that follows the breakup in order to move on with your life. Unfortunately, for most people emotional pain is too strong to endure, thus being entangled in a perpetual healing process, with little hope of moving on.

The healing process is affected by numerous reasons that either complicate or facilitate your ability to continue with your everyday life. Although grieving is an accompanying part of the breakup, it should only last long enough to provide you with closure.

These are the main reasons why moving on after a breakup seems unthinkable.

Being in the same social circle

One of the primary reasons that make breakup recovery impossible is being in the same social circle with your ex-partner. It’s common for partners in long-term relationships to have mutual friends, which only makes things more complicated after ending your love story.

Although you’ll be struggling to avoid any type of social encounter, your friends will keep mentioning your ex’s name by sharing information about his/her whereabouts. Some of them might even try to arrange a meeting by keeping you in the dark, in the hope of you getting back together. As much as your friends wish to see you as a couple, you need to be perfectly clear about your intentions. They need to know that the less you see or hear about your ex, the faster you’ll move on.

Following your ex on social media

Terminating the physical relationship with your ex-partner doesn’t mean that you should keep following him/her on social media. It’s actually a recipe for disaster, as social media can lead to an unhealthy obsession. Instead of moving on with your life, you’ll be constantly checking his/ her profile for new posts and photos, even some you don’t wish to see.

Moreover, an even worse idea is using social media as a means of communication after the breakup. Regardless of how innocent this communication might seem to you, you’ll be unconsciously nurturing the hope for reconciliation. Before you know it, you might end up disappointed, as your partner may not be on the same page. Click here to check out the benefits of maintaining no contact after a breakup.

Idolizing your ex

A common mistake that people make after relationship termination is idolizing their ex-partners, regardless of their true worthiness. It’s terribly wrong to put your ex on a pedestal, as this person is no longer present in your life. Even if your unreasonable actions lead to the split-up, there is no reason to think that other people can never replace your ex-partner.

Furthermore, idolization is particularly common in people who have put their hearts into their relationships, without gaining much in return. However, instead of blaming yourself for the failure of your relationship, take the opportunity to find an even more compatible partner. The world is full of people waiting for you to meet.

Feeling insecure

Numerous people suffer from insecurity following their breakups, particularly the ones who didn’t want the relationship to end. They start questioning their self-worth, thus gradually become more insecure. Naturally, they consider themselves guilty for parting with their ex-partners, although they can’t think of a single logical reason for taking the blame.

Therefore, your self-confidence should never depend on your partner. Sometimes people break up simply because they aren’t meant for each other. Never doubt your ability to find another person to love, as insecurity is not an attractive quality. Find out the ways in which a bad breakup can make you more confident.


The overthinking phase happens when you don’t fully understand the exact reason for the split-up. Your mind won’t cease to analyze the most crucial moments that might have led to separation, which may ultimately result in obsession. Not being able to determine the cause can turn you into an obsessive person, focusing on nothing else but the breakup.

Nevertheless, some decisions lack logical reason, especially when being induced by a change of feelings. Therefore, instead of struggling to find an explanation, simply move on. There is nothing you can do to alter the past, but you can certainly focus on making plans for the future. If nothing else, your past relationship has probably taught you some valuable lessons that are worth applying in your upcoming relationships.

Avoiding the grieving process

While some people spend weeks crying and feeling blue after a breakup, others decide to completely ignore the emotional pain they are feeling. Anyhow, pretending that nothing has happened will solely prolong the process of moving on. Burying your feelings isn’t a solution, as it might lead to experiencing an emotional breakdown when least expected.

Being reluctant to talk with your friends and drinking alcohol to numb your feelings are typical signs of avoiding the grieving process. It’s completely normal to feel sad after terminating a relationship with a person you loved, regardless of the reason. Stop pretending to be brave and give you heart time to heal. Breakup grief can only be avoided if you didn’t care about your partner at all.

Losing your identity

Some people experience difficulties in moving on with their lives due to losing their identity while being in a relationship. In an attempt to be likable, numerous people adopt the interests of their partners, copy their behavior, and lose contact with their close friends.

After a certain period of ignoring your wishes, hobbies, and interests, you won’t be able to remember your true self. However, the healing period is a perfect opportunity to restore your long-lost identity, as you no longer have to depend on another person. Be prepared to face reality while trying to build your new system of values.

Wrap up

Splitting up with your partner isn’t a reason to give up your faith in love.

Your true soulmate is waiting for you around the corner!

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