Gentleman? Gorgeous? German? Great? Slow down, you wouldn’t read this article if your boyfriend was a great gorgeous German (Georgian, Greek, Ghanaian, whatever) gentleman of your dream. Those girls who have already found an ideal boyfriend spend no more time on blogs dedicated to relationships. They simply have no issues to address.
But we all know that an ideal boyfriend is a fiction. Moreover, this is quite an unhealthy idea which can ruin relationships. We all have virtues and flaws, mood swings, positive and negative emotions — that’s what makes us humans. It’s not shameful to have fears, insecurities, or even addictions. On the other hand, it’s our primary mission to improve our and our beloved one’s lives. Do you want to change your relationship for the better? Check out what to do in the case if your boyfriend is…
Gamer
If you think that gaming addiction is something that can catch only 13-years old teenagers, you are totally wrong. It is equally inherent to 10-years, 20-years, and 40-years old boys.
Of course, women are also prone to become addicted to video games. Still, in the modern society, it is deemed more as a male problem. This is not surprising since the gaming industry has been focused mostly on the male audience often neglecting the needs of females and positioning a woman as an object.
Don’t get us wrong, video games are a very nice way to spend a spare time. But if gaming starts interfering with a healthy life, raise the alarms. If you see that your boyfriend forfeits his job, hobbies, and, what’s even more critical, your relationship for having a round in Dota 2, passing one more mission in Skyrim, or killing the boss in Mortal Combat, it’s time to make a move.
There is no game more exciting than life. Does he like shooters? Introduce him to real activities like paintball or laser tag. He prefers fighting or football simulators? It makes sense to buy a ball/boxing gloves and pay a visit to a field/ring. Also, gaming addiction is usually an issue for couples who’ve been together a long time. He could simply get bored. Tips on how to save a boring relationship may help in this case.
Gambler
A century ago gambling was considered an elite and vicious activity. Only some categories of people were inclined to visit land-based casinos at that time, but things got more complicated with the arrival of online gambling.
Online casinos are on the rise and have much lower entry barriers, so average people far from brick-and-mortar gambling can easily give it a try. You can even play games without registering at an online casino, although not for real money. These free games might seem harmless, but they can serve as a gateway to real money casinos and get a player hooked on gambling. One day it may turn into a serious issue, so you should pay special attention to your boyfriend’s hobby if he loves spinning reels and shooting dice.
First, you need to figure out how bad his addiction is. Watch him for a while: if he is lying to you, borrows your money and doesn’t give it back or his psychological condition is close to depression — it’s time to seek the assistance. If his addiction is not critical and he is only spending too much time on gambling — a talk may help. And don’t lend him money anymore!
Grumpy
It’s obvious that no one can be in the great mood all the time, but some people tend to negativity more than others. One of the worst things which can happen in the relationship is when one partner has a more positive vision of things than other. It leads to constant misunderstandings and even destructive disputes.
So here is you — a happy and optimistic woman who enjoys her life, and he — a grumpy and cynical man who always complain. And this gets you down, too. Negativity is contagious — that’s why many psychologists recommend avoiding negative individuals and surrounding yourself only with positive and successful people.
“But he’s my boyfriend, I can’t abandon him only because of this” — a caring girlfriend would say. And will be right: chronic negativity may literally kill him, according to the recent scientific studies. He needs your help.
So what can you do? Promote positivity in your relationship by all means. Emphasize the great results he achieved in his job, sports, hobby, business, etc. Tell him that his life is not as bad as he thinks and always point to people who have more reasons to complain. Also, you should avoid arguments and maintain calm. If a quarrel happens, try to put yourself in his shoes and find a compromise. When he stoops to unconstructive critics, indicate that his words are not arguments and ask him to find stronger proofs of his position. He will likely not have them and realize an absurdity of his negative view.
Gay
The developed countries massively adopt gay marriages, and that’s good news for everyone who struggles for equality. However, not all people are ready to change their minds overnight. As the consequence, we still face such a problem as homophobia and closeted gay behavior. Let’s dwell a bit on the second point.
Does your boyfriend like experiments in bed such as putting things in the “back door”? Feeling happy that he never stares at the other girls? Or probably he is too into shopping and make-up? (Even though it’s a stereotype, men often try to look great to impress other men) Don’t get too excited. He might be gay.
If you suspect your boyfriend in homosexuality, the best way to figure this out is to get him to the sincere talk. Tell that you love him and therefore respect his genuine wishes, whatever they are. He doesn’t have to blame himself for being gay, it’s totally ok. But the earlier you accept the truth, the better it will be for your relationship. If he is really gay, all you have to do is to let him go.
In essence, there are three cross-cutting keys to the harmonic relationship: mutual trust, ability to listen, and acceptance. And we don’t mean ignoring problems as acceptance. Acceptance means tolerance to the unchangeable treats of your partner and non-conviction of his flaws. Instead, you help him to deal with such issues, and he helps you when you are in trouble. Otherwise, why do you need each other?
What do you think about our alphabet approach to disclose the most common problems that might arise in the relationship? If you want to hear our expert opinion on other issues starting with A…, B…, C…, and up to Z…, mention the letter to be next in this series of articles. We are waiting for your suggestions.
