A narcissist usually being full of charm (when he wants to), he or she can come across easily as impressive, agreeable, and highly attractive. To those who drew their attention and happened to win their affection, they may seem virtually flawless, and certainly, their not-so-pleasant qualities would be out of sight. At the first stage of relationship, narcissists are in the habit of expressing their love lavishly, and it might be difficult to realize that it is a form of ignoring. Yet there are red signals that can serve as a serious warning.
They Are Very Attractive
When the physical and erotic attraction is more than averagely great, it pulls out the stoppers and prevents from observing danger signs. People are left practically blinded by sex appeal. Those who are able to see auras assert that strong sexuality represses metal energy in the most literal sense.
They Are Only Talking about Themselves
The most obvious sign is that narcissistic individuals‘ conversation is invariably centered on themselves. So while they charm you with interesting stories about themselves, mark that they are in no hurry to learn bout how you live and what you do.
They Are Very Important
Not only they love to relate stories from their lives – they boast and tell very tall stories meant to accentuate how wonderful they are, what sort of people they consort with, what great things they are up to. They are all out to impress you that they are larger than life.
They Easily Feel Offended
When that big-time image is pricked – or even threatened or overshadowed – it can spark instant resentment. They sustain what is professionally known as a ‘narcissistic injury’ because they are ready to believe that you are poking fun at them when actually you didn’t mean anything detrimental at all.
Their Reputation Is Very Important to Them
The sole reason they keep the ball rolling is to impress, not only you but everyone around. If you both happened to dissent, while you are thinking about the conflict and how it could be patched up, they are concerned with what other people may be thinking of them and their behavior. In case of a split, they would be only worried over others‘ possible opinions of that.
They Seduce You Easily
For a narcissist, it is easy and natural to manipulate the people they meet. They use their charm to seduce, whether sexually or not; they will engage you in a conversation and listen carefully or lead you along with flattery. They can even resort to displaying vulnerability, a thing you wouldn’t expect from such a person.
You Are Idealizing Them
Many narcissists are gifted people who achieved success, recognition, powerful positions, they display multiple talents. It is a very attractive idea to put them on the throne and bask in the bright glow of their unique personalities – the more so if you don’t feel up to the mark yourself.
So those whose self-esteem doesn’t amount to many falls into the pattern and begin to idealize this admirable narcissist. They are attracted by the qualities they would have liked to possess themselves, but while they glory in their adorable dears, their idealization renders them blind to the trap they are heading for.
You Start Developing a Magical Connection Very Soon
These charismatic qualities and overwhelming self-confidence combine to produce such a strong impression at the first stage that their partners fail to recognize them as incorrigible narcissists. Also, they are apt to make others feel the chemistry, as if by magic, so it really can be considered as one of the warning signs.
They Feel Familiar
With those whose parent (or both) was narcissistic, the appearance of a narcissistic person in their life may be experienced like a return to the family fold. Such person will be perceived as a close one from the start, accompanied by “chemistry,” that is, a quick relation to whatever they do or say.
Personal therapy can resolve this so that a „familiar“ person is seen as they are – an egoistic, self-centered, maybe even merciless character who will only bring you pain in the long run. Affection for such people can turn into rejection.
The Relationship Is Developing Too Fast
A relationship with a narcissistic individual may come like a forest fire: engulfing attention, incessant contact, gifts, trips for just the two of us, what not. For this kind of relationship, rush-along progress is quite a habitual thing – but you are to know that it will be only the first phase, to be followed by a phase of shifting values probably ending in complete devaluation. So when people get on like a house on fire straight away, it may be merely one big danger sign.
They Love Their Own Pics
When paying a visit to a narcissist’s place, you may notice it is hung all over with photographs of themselves (showing how much they love themselves to the exclusion of everybody else!).
They Are Arrogant
Many narcissists can conceal the fact that they tend to derogate or even despise others. But when they are frustrated, they give vent their anger and get pretty much abusive. Although it can also be noticed when they speak about other people and themselves. If your new date is fond of getting on about how silly and ineffectual others are compared to himself, chances are, he doesn’t think that much of you either.
Another good indication is the way he or she behaves towards waiters, shop assistants, or immigrants, or indigent people. This person socializes with them naturally, without affectation, or maybe they put on airs and become haughty? What if they like to look down their noses at people?
They Are Either Heroes or Victims
Relating a story from their life, narcissists are in the habit of assigning to themselves an important role, usually that of a hero or of a victim. As your new boyfriend sets about explaining in detail his job, his relationship with his ex, or his family complications, watch how he paints himself.
Behavioral Flip after the Commitment
The rush-along relationship is bound to soon arrive at the phase where your narcissistic date becomes sure that you are committed and devoted to them. It means that a sudden flip is coming. Incessant communication weakens in volume, gifts become rarer and further between, affection fades. Besides, you may find that you can no longer be sure of their current mood.
When the narcissistic individual feels he has won his prize, he grows colder and less interested, your importance dwindles, and very soon relationship can turn sour and even turbulent.
Some More Tips to Know If You’re Dating a Narcissist
Pay attention when your latest date starts on the topic of their relationships before you. Things went wrong, who was to blame for that? Is it always the other party, or maybe your date shares blame with their exes? Do they own up to their mistakes, shortcomings, are they open about their being abusive or addicted? And, while you are together, check your emotions: is there something that makes you anxious and concerned? Do you happen to feel ignored, pushed aside, made to feel small? Try to get down to the bottom of these impressions.