We humans are social beings, so it is difficult for us to live without communication. It’s hard not to talk to anyone, it’s hard not to share thoughts and worries. However, sometimes our conversation makes the interlocutor quickly end the conversation and contact us less. They say you should not discuss politics, religion and money with others. Is this list complete? Here are the most common conversation topics to avoid.
Your diseases
It is quite normal if a really close friend, relative or family member is interested in your condition. But the details of your tests, visits to the doctor and how you feel every day with all the symptoms are of no interest to most people.
We like to talk about ourselves, and after a certain age we also talk about our health. When two grandmothers discuss arthritis, they most likely have a common problem and treatments, but your gum flux or diarrhea is exclusively yours.
Past Relationships
It is unlikely to avoid this topic by entering new relationships. It is not necessary either. When the right moment comes up (you don’t need to wait for it), you should tell or listen to the stories of your partner’s past. This gives us a clearer portrait of a person’s personality and his character.
Everything you should say, however, is that the relationship was terminated for a certain reason. Do not to talk about how bad or good you felt together, what you did and where you went. This is the past, and you have a new page of your life.
Extra details
Sometimes we are asked to show photos from vacation. In such a situation, you feel the temptation to show all 150 shots, including not the most successful ones. The same applies to your own needlework, family albums, favorite videos, etc. Excessive importunity will not appeal to a person. On the contrary, it will make you retreat and run away faster.
Don’t go into a long story about your magical vacation, your busy love life, your kitchen remodeling, or your boss’s new intrigues. There is no faster way to oust people from your party.
Other people’s secrets
Gossiping is taboo. Not just because you wear the mask of a decent person, but because washing other people’s linen in public is an ignoble and ungrateful business. The situation may change, and after a while, all the facts will be distorted and you will named as the primary source of misinformation. It will be very embarrassing!
You do not need to pry your nose into other people’s affairs, especially family ones. For example, you caught a friend’s husband lying. Will you keep quiet or tell her? Probably, it is worth letting them figure it out for themselves. Then, by providing a service, you will not cause trouble.
Your dreams
Restrain the impulse to tell other people what you dreamed about yesterday. Especially if it sounds like this: “I had a bad dream…”
Someone else’s work
Do not exclaim joyfully when you find out that the person introduced to you is a lawyer or a doctor. They already know how exactly you will behave: you will begin to tell them about your problems, sincerely believing that they will take it as a valuable experience in their own professional life. Usually they charge money for professional advice.
Other people’s children
Remember a simple rule: never criticize children in front of their parents. Even if this were true a hundred times, they would not agree. They can only be reaffirmed in the opinion that their child is the best.
About creative activity
Are you going to give an aspiring writer feedback on his new book? Do not do this. Don’t send in your stories and manuscripts without warning. Most likely, they will go to the bin. Alternatively, people may feel obliged to write a review – which will most often contain a poorly disguised mockery.
The same applies to flash drives and storage media filled with music you’ve written or pictures you’ve taken. Wait to be asked for that, or prepare for the consequences you may not like.
About myself
In general, try to talk less about yourself. Firstly, the less others know about you, the better and calmer life is in the end. Secondly, there is a risk of getting carried away, and then the dialogue will turn into a monologue. Silence is always better than chatter. As Fyodor Dostoevsky once said,
“Silence is always beautiful, and a silent person is always more beautiful than one who talks.”
If you think primarily about who you are talking to, you will become an excellent conversationalist and look at communication in a new way. After all, if everyone waits for their turn to make a remark that the other person will not hear, this turns the situation into a conversation between deaf-mutes.
How to answer questions correctly
The most dangerous thing is to answer questions that you have not been asked at all. Before you start talking, stop and think: what exactly do all these people want to hear from you? What are they waiting for, what do they really need?
Reassure, encourage, provoke, give hope or finally tell the truth? This rule works both in personal communication and in communication with the whole world.
