Touchy people risk their health greatly. A bad mood is the smallest harm that negative emotions can bring to a person. Accumulated over the years, grudge makes you sick, or even can lead to depression, mental illness and cancer. Read below how resentment can make you sick.
According to psychotherapist Angela Buttimer:
“When we hold on to grudges and resentment, it’s like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick.”
Scientists are greatly interested in the psychology of rancor. There is a lot of research on the topic of resentment and forgiveness, their influence on each other and other relationships. Several large-scale grievance research projects have shown that the inability to forgive directly affects psychological well-being, especially in relationships.
If at least one partner in a couple has a hard time parting with resentment and anger, negative feelings grow, life together becomes unbearable, and parting is more likely. This is not surprising: the accumulated bitterness intensifies confrontation and destroys the prospects of compromise.
Long-term frustration and its inevitable companion – feelings of anger – seriously affect health, making the situation worse over time. Scientists have repeatedly tested groups of elderly people for the impact of negative emotions – I think it is not a surprise for you that it is more difficult to get rid of offenses over the years.
Those who get rid of anger live longer because they suffer less from chronic diseases, which stands out especially among the elderly. In other words, it does not matter what happened in your life, but it matters how you reacted to it, or are still going to react.
So what’s next? Obviously, accumulating grudges is a toxic distraction. Latent anger damages mental and physical health undermines compromises and can destroy relationships. If things are so unpleasant and unhelpful, what strategies can help you let go of your grudges?
One of the psychologists’ favorite techniques, which Dr. Buttimer also recommends, is the visualization of forgiveness. Imagine how this happens in detail, how you tell the abuser that you are willing to forgive and how you really feel. This approach teaches you to control the inner negativity by breaking habitual beliefs and accepting the behavior of another person. At the same time, it is recommended to maintain emotional stability through relaxation techniques and breathing practices.
Writing about experiences also helps. After all, it makes sense to start keeping a diary. The main idea is to be extremely sincere, write about any experience, even the most negative one, and do it regularly (on a daily basis). Then it will work.
Finally, forgiveness does not necessarily mean returning to the person you were offended by. If someone constantly hurts you, betrays or insults you, or refuses requests to discuss the situation, it may be time to end this traumatic story. Life in the status of the offended person is not trendy anymore.
To forgive means to get rid of angry thoughts and other negative energy. As soon as grudges leave your mind – get convinced that this is for the best and trust the logic. Do not accumulate grievances, you are not a warehouse of experienced annoyances and worked-out emotions.
Doctors also advise avoiding communication that can cause negative emotions. Family problems, on the contrary, should not be hushed up. They must be discussed and solved as soon as they arise.