A few minutes prove to be enough to know whether the couple will part in the short-term or middle-term perspective. American psychologist John Gottman developed a fairly simple test to calculate the probability of divorce; and everyone can be sure of its reliability judging by the personal experience.
Gottman does not idealize marriage – it is impossible to rely on the fact that family life will always be cloudless. However, assuming the presence of negative experiences in marriage, the psychologist explains that happy couples experience much more positive emotions and appreciation than the level of negativity in everyday relationship.
According to its creator, the test of marriage strength predicts whether a couple will divorce in the near or distant future with 90 percent accuracy. The expert highlights 7 signs that your marriage is not going to last long:
- disputes that begin with sarcasm addressing each other;
- the habit of both partners to criticize personal characteristics of the other half;
- speech and facial expressions, which show contempt or mockery;
- justification of one’s own actions and saying “I am not guilty” and “it is not me who creates problems”;
- the tactics of “a protective wall” when someone avoids communication not to feel pain;
- “emotional flooding”: the term implies a heightened response to verbal attacks, which are perceived as a physical threat; lack of the desire to communicate;
- the inability to stop in time when having moments of conflict and return the relations to a normal mode after the conflict.
