Outwardly everything is fine, and you have no reason to believe otherwise, yet something is sadly lacking. Are there any ways to make sure your relationship is slipping without engaging yourselves into a lengthy and probably pointless discussion? Yes, see if you can observe certain signs in his behavior.
1. Taking to Buying Too Many Gadgets
Since people don’t get depressed handling things, it is easy to imagine that buying electronics and devices will fill the void inside without requiring much of the owner. Margaret Clark, a psychology professor at Yale, says that people who are not secure in their relationships are likely to place more value on their belongings. Gadgets help them shut out the feeling of uncertainty and inner loneliness. They entertain and provide with a great chance to keep pretending everything is okay when it isn’t. “People in a traumatized state tend to love their furniture,” wrote Charles Baxter in his book Burning Down the House, and it’s easy to divert your attention from your partner to something that is standing on a nearby table.
2. Keeping Mum When Together
You sit down at the dinner table and find that you have nothing to say to one another. The well has run dry, you have no wish to relate what has happened to you and don’t welcome his comments. So, every time you come together, the atmosphere is stifled and affected.
3. No More Listening to You
No matter how much you have been over some grounds for discussion, if your partner is well into relationship with you, he will always listen to you and try to see your point of view. Even if it’s controversial, you still stay together if in a quarrel. But when the relationship is on the wane, he is just not interested. He would rather cut the conversation short by saying that you’d
said it all before (or even more rudely). Your opinions no longer matter, he doesn’t want to cast around for any compromise. It may seem like a way out of a series of boring arguments, but see if he’s concerned with the outcome and not just stopping the tide.
4. Mentioning Other Women Regularly
Of course it’s fine that he kind of invites you to have a look into the lives of his colleagues at work, and, naturally, he has some female friends there, but really, does it have to be this way – telling you about everything that occurs to a particular woman? Why should he relate too much? Probably because he is looking for some sort of attitude he doesn’t get. Probably he isn’t aware of it himself yet, but once you feel that he seeks sympathy for some other woman, it’s a sign for you that your concerns may grow less important for him. Time to change it around, maybe.
5. Drawing Attention to His Every Move
While you’re engaged in your everyday activities, and maybe looking forward to having some time for your own and settle down to something really satisfying – or probably just a spot of gaming? – your partner goes on hovering around or coming up with some stupid question about the household, a remark he considers to be important (while you don’t), and maybe moving to touch you every time. Is he being exasperating? It may be; on the other hand, it may be a sign of his being hungry for attention. Of course it’s childish and may look downright inane, but your eager response will surely go for strengthening your relationship, and some casual touching may be a good lead-up to some passion between the sheets.
6. Bringing Nothing New Around
Of course you develop a lot of common habits that sometimes seem like sticking to you like a crust. It stands for comfort, but it also dulls the senses. And it doesn’t mean that he wants it that way – maybe his friends get him to break out onto fresh ground. Think whether he would feel confident in approaching you with any new ideas about what to do and how to set about it – or would he rather take it up with his friends and colleagues? When is the last time you got round to trying something new and delightfully crazy? Freshen the romance and the adventure, no relationship is complete and fulfilling without them.
