How often did you catch yourself waking up in the morning and feeling overwhelmed by a flood of gloomy thoughts straightaway? Telling yourself that here comes another day piling worries on your shoulders. You are losing every blessed day to crowding troubles… But halt: who said you are a loser? Why do you feel like a loser, and how to stop it? It can be stopped, and you should know how this can be achieved. You don’t really have to feel like this.
Begin with acknowledging your weak points
It’s an obvious line, really: we are all less than perfect. You have your flaws, and what do you do – let them get you down or try to iron them out? Like if you feel in a dither when you have to address a big audience, why not find a suitable training course to bolster yourself up?
If you are set to improve your setbacks in earnest, you won’t have so many dark thoughts clouding your day. As the issue arises, you will be able to switch away from down-hearted broodings to your plans for self-development and thus dispel the dejected atmosphere.
Work your mindset toward changing
The loser mindset gets built up to produce but a few trains of thought along the following lines:
- Having bungled your last task, you automatically put yourself down as a loser.
- You are often engulfed in a sad, dejected mood and feel lonely.
- The next time you will undoubtedly fall down on the task because you are struggling under adverse energy that has closed in on you.
This vicious circle must really be broken; it can be accomplished by transforming our thoughts into action without pondering whether it will be comfortable for us or not. As soon as you slide on to the idea that you’re a loser, say immediately that you can do the task.
Cut off anything negative directed at yourself from your language. As you lose the habit of denigrating yourself, your frame of mind will also undergo a change.
One of the mantras you can use with benefit:
I am more than my failures or my mistakes. Every bad thing that happened is in the past. It is up to me to make my story better in many ways.
Making our mindset be just what we want it to be takes a lot of effort, but you will be satisfied with the result. At the very least it’s better than go on considering yourself an unhappy one.
Join a club
Any club that can grab your interest will do – dancing, knitting, singing, whatever you are enthusiastic about. As we regard ourselves to be among a group of other enthusiasts, we begin to establish relationships that will chase away loneliness and bring in the pleasure of doing the same thing with others!
Talk with your nearest people
At your lowest moments, it may be the best remedy to feel the bond you have with your beloved people, and feel that you have congenial company. While you have quality time with your closest ones, you can get rid of the feeling of being a failure.
As you are keeping up your nice chatting, you may feel your solitude wearing thin. Although your negative mood may hang heavy on you, as you share it, it will help weaken the burden and lighten your heart – focus on the sensation.
You shouldn’t hesitate to explain your feelings to an understanding person. As you realize you are not alone and abandoned, your situation will lose its mortifying qualities.
Acquire control of your life’s one sphere (or two)
When circumstances beyond our control begin to govern some spheres of our life, it can bring on the loser’s pangs. Cast about for the globe that stays under your control and throw yourself in it. Set yourself a fitness aim – one of the surer ways to effect a break. Even if you cannot assume total control, it can provide you with a comfortable feeling.
Other controllable spheres can be a spending/saving target and dating. Should you feel low, assert control on these.
Drive yourself harder
If we aim to attain our goals, we must show drive and perseverance. We should step outside the comfort zone and then slave-drive ourselves as hard as we can.
How far we can reach out actually depends on how hard we can drive ourselves. The harder you push yourself, the sooner you will succeed. If you persist while others may discourage you or obstacles appear in your way, you will eventually find it is worth your while.
The other advice is to ensure that you are enthusiastic about what you are engaged with, invest your passion and put your best efforts into your performance. There will be no failure then!
Avoid dwelling too much on the past
Tell yourself firmly that bygones must be let to be bygones. You can’t change the past and it’s pointless to wallow in regrets – after all, you have your future to shape! Possibilities lie before you in abundance, and you have a job of choosing and pursuing your success instead of being sorry for your past mistakes.
If you dwell in the past and can’t get yourself to move on, you may be stuck with your successes as well as with your blunders. Being proud of your ancient achievements depletes your energy that should be channeled to new goals – retain control over your energy flow.
Don’t decline good influence from others
We can easily get swamped in what we believe we are, and what we can and can’t do. These beliefs can become solidified and hold us up. People around us can help us break out of the box by inspiring us with their expectations from us. Their ideas of what we can achieve may set us on the way to improvement and development. Be open to new things, hobbies and interests.
Rather than shut yourself in your comfort zone, leap at challenges. Get involved in projects that fire you up, tune yourself to succeed, and prove your worth to yourself and those around you.
Take a detailed stock of your abilities, goals, and expectations. Ruminate on what success will bring into your life. You might want to change your job and/or lifestyle completely.
Write out a plan of activity with daily steps towards your desired result.
Take necessary risks. They are unavoidable on your way ahead. Your small failures may actually be logical steps inherent in future achievement.
Look around for open perspectives
Those who believe the walls have closed around them are almost certainly guilty of stifled thinking. People can lose track of themselves: ignore their talents, miss obvious opportunities, and feel helpless when they can get support from their friends and colleagues.
If you are open to other people’s opinions and visions, you will recognize the possibilities without ignoring them. As you observe how others perceive the pros and cons of situations, getting acquainted with their approaches and attitudes, you may find solutions to the problems that besiege you. With a broadened mindset, you will be richer in your tactics and strategies, and what was regarded as stumbling blocks may now be viewed as small-time manageable obstacles.