It takes a lot to avoid comparisons with people around – the more so if you are attentive to your pals on social sites. As you observe others, you almost subconsciously slid into comparisons of your appearance and theirs, your dressing style and theirs, your home interior, and other people’s. You start to want to change this, and it takes a heavy toll on your peace of mind and your wallet. Besides, it can make you moody and uptight.
What impact does ceaseless comparing has on your life
A life full of comparison is virtually riddled with negative aspects. The worst of them are listed below:
- Anxiety that won’t be shaken off, expressed in a flow of thinking hard to stem (referred to as rumination)
- Frequent depressive bouts of mood
- Spending too much money solely for enhancing your image
And probably the worst of all is that it’s next to impossible to stop comparing ourselves to others. We stay hooked, comparing pushes us to keep up, as a result, we invest in it unbelievable amounts of money and energy. This is a losing game, so the sooner we give it up the better.
Look after your own well-being
While we follow others’ lives, we waste precious time that could be ours alone. Chasing nebulous images won’t really further our own interests and concerns. On the contrary, ruminating about what we see on social media hampers our own progress, making us create and invest not into our lives but in themes we pick from others.
Know your triggers and learn to give them a wide berth
When you find yourself caught in the comparison trap, step back and see what moved you to begin the game. Most often it may be the news on social sites, but there may be other triggers you should know of. Maybe there is someone who asks sniping questions about your life, or some braggart who touches you on the raw.
It may not necessarily be people. An upmarket shopping mall in the vicinity, wealthy neighbors or co-workers, some things you are craving for may bring about sad thoughts and discontent and throw shadows on your happy attitude with which you started the day.
Habituate yourself to be happy where you are at present
If you fail to acknowledge the situation you’re in, you won’t be able to change things. Your first step is to cease denying and/or resisting your present circumstances and try to come to terms with it. Having accepted your position, you can begin pondering on where you want to see development and improvement.
Keep it clear that there’s a difference between the outside life of other people and your inner life
This is a very important reminder. You can judge rightly what you see on the outside of people’s lives only if you know the person very well. With so many people their outward life, and even more do their media life, is very scrupulously varnished for public consumption.
You must have encountered these situations when spouses used to claim they were happy together but ended up filing for divorce (often citing irreconcilable differences). As soon as you feel that demonstrations of outward happiness on the part of other people make you feel bad, tell yourself it all might be just a smokescreen.
Draw a comparison with yourself
While we’re about comparing, why not compare yourself with yourself? Find these spheres where you can be better, more successful, more caring – even kinder to yourself. These ruminations can easily prove to be highly fruitful ones, and you can act on them immediately.
Shut yourself off from social media for a while
Every day we receive news about other people’s blissful existence in this world via Facebook, Twitter, and other sites. We see only what they choose to highlight, and it seems that right now we have nothing to show for ourselves.
We do need social media to keep in touch and catch up, but devouring too much of that can easily lead to a debilitating feeling that we are not up to the mark. If it hit you, social media is holding you in its grip. Get out from under and assume control over it.
Maintain a grateful attitude for all the good you have
We are sure to have a lot of good things in our lives, but do we keep our minds on them? Do we end our days enumerating everything good that came our way? So, as soon as we feel hooked by others’ delights and it runs us down, it’s a good idea to pause and concentrate on our boons and benefits – there will be found enough to shift your attention.
The end is not yet in sight, life goes on
You might be deeply dissatisfied with your life at this very moment, but remind yourself that this situation is temporary. It doesn’t mean that you are going to live the rest of your life like this. It’s important where you are now, but yet more important is where you are heading for. Focus on your goals.
Side up with yourself
You can hear at times an acerbic voice that keeps telling you how dull, silly and unattractive you are compared to your friends or social site pals. Well, it’s up to you to choose to listen to it or shut your mind.
It’s worth your while to become your own supporter. When you get belittled inside in this fashion, soothe yourself, calm down and switch on positive thinking. Back yourself up, find consolations and compensations. You have things to praise yourself for.
Don’t use “should” on yourself
The typical upshot of comparing is starting to “should” your life, thinking that you should have been there, done that by this point – thereby recounting things you lack and give rise to a negative flood of thinking.
Drop “should” and exchange it for “want” to move away from derogating yourself for your past and concentrating on your future attainments.
