It is really a great idea to love yourself, but do you find it easy to do? Maybe – like crowds of others – you do not. Loving oneself means appreciate oneself for one’s inner worth and good qualities. If one knows that he or she is quite clever, nice and good-looking, there’s no need to hear it from other people. So, those who love themselves are fairly high up on self-esteem, they have confidence in themselves and are aware of their worth.
People who don’t love themselves often fall prey to negative emotions, at different times feeling guilty, ashamed, not equal to situations. They believe they have to prove their worth on a regular basis.
When besieged by negative emotions, these people go for alcohol, substances, eating to make themselves feel better – but most of the things they use for palliatives become harmful in the long run, shutting out pleasanter sides of life.
It means most of us need to love ourselves more and develop self-esteem – but it is easier said than done. Yet we can teach ourselves to have more positive emotions about our nature and social position.
Teach yourself that you can make mistakes
Although people often repeat that no-one is perfect and it’s OK to make a mistake now and again, adults come under a lot of pressure and censure if they fail. Yet explain to yourself that you don’t need to get uptight, learn your lesson from each mistake and become smarter.
Whoever tells you that you mustn’t (or you tell it yourself), turn a deaf ear and make all the mistakes you can’t avoid making. Just don’t forget to chalk them up to experience.
Learn forgiveness and apply it to yourself
It emerged from a study devoted to forgiveness training that grown-up people who took it registered enviable results. After attending six weeks’ training the attendees showed lower levels of stress, rancor, and chagrin compared to those who didn’t take the course. Moreover, they acquired optimism that lasted for months after the completion.
Never compare yourself to other people
In our competitive country, it is a customary thing to compare yourself to people you know because we strive to keep up with the Joneses. And we don’t pause to think: what’s the point? You being unique, what do you get from comparing? It would be better to go on shaping your future and your development. Comparisons are apt to make you dependable.
Map your most vulnerable spots
If you wish to stop feeling bad, you should know the areas where you are insecure and need protection. You tend to blame yourself because you feel vulnerable there. So you have to know where exactly you chafe.
You may unearth some old wound dating back to childhood, unnerving situations within a relationship, poor performance, and failed promotion – a lot of things, actually. Once you have discovered your vulnerable spots, you can come to terms with them and use the information for development.
After you have succeeded in that, you will feel your self-confidence rising. You will be able to leave your past behind and become a better version of yourself.
Be grateful to yourself
Gratitude comes in many forms, with one of them being being grateful to yourself for what you have done for yourself. There is nothing to stop us from thanking ourselves for doing the right thing, for remembering about the regular health checkup, for delighting our friends and family with small gifts.
If we can play somebody’s favorite song on the guitar or treat your guests to fabulous cookies – they are also good reasons for self-gratitude. Why let such things pass unnoticed?
Don’t let other people’s opinions flutter you
Other people are sure to have an opinion of yourself; those you know foster some expectations of yourself. It doesn’t mean, though, that these opinions are correct and the expectations realistic, so you can waste a lot of time trying to sort out all this stuff. Remaining yourself will help these people understand you better.
Stay away from toxic people without undue shame
We all imprint our personal kind of energy on the surrounding world, and with some people the energy is damaging. They either don’t realize it or just don’t care, so if someone makes your life more toxic, you may as well distance away from such people. You may feel ashamed for taking this step, yet it is essential to clear the atmosphere around you and feel liberated.
It’s up to you to maintain a good atmosphere around you, so you won’t be doing anything rude if you refuse to socialize with those whose presence exudes toxic energy.
Mind that your body doesn’t determine your intrinsic value
There is no arguing that people are apt to judge us by our looks; but likewise, people know that appearances are deceptive. They should look deeper to see the real you. However, the body has the power to make us forget the truth and value others – and ourselves! – by appearance only.
Being yourself truly means that you wear the kind of clothes you have a liking for. If you are comfortable in these clothes, this is the only thing that matters.
Loving yourself must be made a habit
There must be many things you are fond of; make a habit of treating yourself to them regularly. Give yourself small presents of things that make you happy; a lot of time which you can devote to the activities you revel in, in your home and outside. Take yourself off on excursions and trips. Feeling really happy, you will walk the road to the best you a lot faster.
To facilitate this, write down a list of things you would like to do. Then you can match an item from the list to every particular situation: choose the kind of pleasure that is easiest to get or suits your mood best. Soon you will feel your contentment grow.
Don’t reach out to be perfect
It may be a strong temptation to make a perfect person of yourself, but don’t fall for it. Your mental balance depends on how well you can acknowledge both the brighter and darker sides of your personality. Perfection leads to an intense fear of failure only too often. It opens the door to doubts and insecurity about yourself.
Don’t be negative when talking to yourself
Oftentimes we give ourselves a negative talk, saying that we bungled something royally or that we are not worthy of something else. Such self-criticism may be true, nevertheless, it wreaks hell with your self-confidence. Besides, it takes you further from accepting yourself as you are.
See that you are not a habitual people pleaser
Everyone likes to receive favors and assistance, but how many of the people you are good to really like you and/or appreciate what you do? They may pretend to keep you going, but are they sincere in their praise? It is much healthier to be yourself instead of indulging in pleasing others. The more so, since you are not dependent on their opinions of your worth.
Take care not to miss opportunities that are handed out to you
Life is replete with opportunities; be discernible and know when they are coming your way. And mind that when none is coming, you can create one and act when you feel the time is right. Your dreams are waiting for you – you only have to jump on the train that is going the right way.