If you are in relationship but haven’t had children yet, you’re always under fire: there are so many people around who would like to broach this question, sometimes at a very inappropriate moment. The whole world seems to want to know about your family enlargement plans, and you can’t get away from replying – at the very least – anything. Of course you want to point out that it is entirely up to you, but you don’t want to be offensive to people who wish you well. Ways ought to be found to fend people off without being overtly rude.
You gave birth already? Well and good – now it’s time to put you on the grill about the next one! What’s going on that people look on women and see them solely as fertile wombs that just can’t stop producing? Do they understand how annoying that attitude is?
No, not quite. Children have been long considered as woman’s main life purpose and the ultimate proof of your womanhood. So, many people, aged ones especially, believe implicitly that you MUST be wanting to conceive – and find it difficult to accept that you may have ambiguous ideas about that.
Anyway, you are hard put to kill two birds with one stone – shut people up fairly effectively and not place yourself open to public disapprobation. It’s easy when the person bothering you doesn’t have some of their own: you can toss the ball back and see how she copes with it! But let’s deal with more difficult situations.
Here are suggestions for some repartees that will sound light and funny at a gathering but help stem the flow – no matter whether you are planning further kids or not!
Will you tell me how do I set about making babies again?
What it boils down to is that your Aunt Gina wants to know if you are going to have a lot of torrid unprotected sex within the month. Well, you can feel entitled to ask for a detailed explanation about which positions are better for conceiving, and so on, without omitting anything.
After I have paid off my student loans
Your pop and mom may be very old if it were to be taken literally! Who knows, maybe they will regard it as a threat and stump up some to help you toward reaching this point? You can drop other hints about this kind of investing in the family.
As the family gathering turns to its most boring phase and you strive hard to stifle yawns, you can as well employ shock tactics and enjoy a little innocuous fun as your family are trying to dissuade you.
I have a child already
Nod towards your partner and give a large wink.
Oh, one of these days – at the weekend, probably?
If there are people who don’t know you well at the party, some of them may take you for dumb or devastatingly naïve – OK, let them! Grab the chance of a moment’s confusion and re-channel the conversation.
I am so into partying that I just can’t stop!
Let them think up arguments for that one! Besides, you can get good offers from your family members to babysit for you. After all, they do want you to have a baby. Thank them and accept, because these offers can come in very handy one day.
You have to look right for that – caught off your guard, a bit flummoxed, and quite a bit resentful. Let them infer that you don’t want it to happen again.
Watch out, grandpa’s about to lose his dentures!
A diversion, pure and simple: you have to take chances that it will work and use the ensuing pause to change the subject or vanish for a while until this has blown over. Why not? You don’t want to talk about it, let them know it.
Sure, in the next 50 years
Actually, you are quite right – they don’t expect you to come up with the exact date, do they? And you do encourage your parents’ interest, add “it’s a promise” if you want to do so.
Yea, it’s time for me to lay off the cakes!
Thus you show that you consider this question rather inept and at the same time draw attention to your appearance. The situation is supposed to end up with compliments about how great you really look. Two scores to you!