Of course, all women are different, and all conflicts are unique. There is no universal method of how to outargue a woman. However, there are classic techniques that work against women’s logic and classic mistakes that should be avoided.
Do not try to prove your case through thick and thin. The winner is not the one who has the last word (according to most women), but the one who managed to shake the interlocutor’s confidence. To save time, it is easier just to recognize that a woman is right “in her own way”or “partly”, and then add something like, “now let’s think together, because…” and gently put forward your arguments. This way you kind of take her side, so you will be listened to more attentively.
Forget the phrase “I do not understand what you mean at all” and the like. Even if she poured out a stream of crazy arguments and a meaningless set of words, never say you do not understand or have missed everything.
Firstly, the re-presentation will not make the point any more clear. Secondly, a woman, especially when she is emotion-driven, hardly thinks that she talks gibberish. But she will almost certainly accuse you of ignoring her and not giving a damn for her opinion. The correct version looks like this: “I got your point, but I’d like to shed some light on…”
Do not raise your voice. This will inevitably lead to the question “Why are you shouting at me?!”, and the discussion will turn into an ordinary squabble, where you will be the cad, and she – the unfortunate victim.
Try to play the other way around: if a woman, getting emotional, raises her voice at you, you can always say, ” I don’t want being talked to in such a tone.” Then she will feel guilty, and you will get a temporary advantage.
Never criticize the woman’s intelligence in an argument, even indirectly. Choose the opposite tack: “Well, you’re a smart girl, you probably know that …”
Do not make any abstract examples that are so fashionable in psychoanalytic articles. No “Let’s assume this sugar bowl is you, and the salt shaker is me.”
Women’s logic is designed so that a woman will find proof of her innocence in any abstraction, and you will not beat her in this field. An example must always be clear and unambiguous. Do you see that girl? She is fat, and you are not.
Do not reinforce your words with your mother’s, grandmother’s or ex-girlfriend’s opinion. It is trite and obvious, but many forget about it in the heat of the argument. Put forward the views of those people who are respected by the woman you’re arguing with.
The fewer words the woman can find fault in, the better for you.
According to a woman’s logic, every statement can be revised, refuted and rejected. You should not rely on the words “Well, it was you who said that…” Still, you will not be able to break through her “So what?”, that’s why try not to fall into such traps.
Do not let yourself be misled. Feeling they haven’t a leg to stand on, women often use dishonest techniques like, “Besides, why haven’t you nailed the shelf yet? You promised!” when the shelf issue hadn’t been mentioned at all.
The easiest way to block such provocations is to recognize your fault “Yes, I am guilty, I promise I will do everything.” Then, when the woman receives the desired response and relaxes, get back to the topic.
Do not use long and complex sentences to make your point. The point must fit into one or two sentences. The fewer words the woman can find fault in, the better for you.
Do not forget about the sense of humor. It always smoothes out the unpleasant issues in a conversation. Besides, all women love witty men and forgive them much.
And finally: for a meaningful dialogue, you always have to keep three issues in mind:
- What did the woman say?
- What did she want to say?
- What did she actually say?
… and the three answers to them.