The Big Dream hasn’t changed since God knows when: we are dreaming of meeting that one and only guy who will bring a great love into our life, and the world will come shining red and gold.
This dream is always pushing us to be on the lookout, date and date again, hoping for that special moment when our heart gives a big throb and wakes up.
But dating is like everything else – at times you have no catch at all, at other times you draw guys in throngs.
It’s the same with everyone: yesterday you were totally dissatisfied, because your horizon was bare of likeable men, today – oops! – you got a date that makes you feel on seventh heaven, and suddenly there comes another man that excites you. You want to hold on to the first one but at the same time you aren’t ready to drop the second one (who knows how things will pan out at the end? A girl is entitled to some degree of assurance, right?)
So, you date both of them. Even if it feels a bit whacky at first, there’s nothing you can do about it, it just happens.
It goes on and on like this, leaving you even more in pother with each time: you DON’T want to make a decisive choice, however much you know you really ought to.
The possibility of a mistake is burning up your soul. What if your choice is faulty? You may end up with the worse one without knowing it – and you will never know what you let go! It’s unbearable.
On the one hand, the situation when you’re flanked by two suitors is flattering – on the other, you realize that it can end in overall failure. It’s not fair, you want to shout out. It shouldn’t be like this, you hanging out in the air not knowing where to land, and the men also shouldn’t be held in abeyance.
You like them for different things
The problem is, each of them is attractive in his own fashion – like one is funny and comfortable to stay around, the other is clever and knowledgeable in a stimulating way. One is muscular and sexy, the other comes across great in the way he makes himself out. It usually is like this if you’ve stuck between two men: they are very different, and that’s what makes it so hard to decide. Their merits can’t be matched.
Guilt keeps assaulting
It used to be fun at first, but as the time passes, you feel torn apart. It becomes a stupid game, and it may soon become a torture. Guilt steps in, and the inability to decide between the two becomes nerve-racking. You are so wonderfully happy to win two guys’ attention, and still your happiness is always marred by the burden of having to choose and the guilt of not having chosen already.
Fear of missing grows stronger
FOMO is what got you trapped the first time, and it keeps holding you in a vice. The pressure grows as you hope that something will happen that will decide for you – but even if it does, you continue to cling on: what if you choose and lose? The very idea of your remembering the situation after a while and realizing that you let go of a great chance of happiness fills your soul with cold horror.
Mixing up their names is something that is bound to happen
Your mind is sure to play this trick on you sooner or later! It just slips out, and you realize you’ve just called your boyfriend by the other guy’s name. Take care it won’t happen at a passionate moment – this is the worst situation you will hardly be able to lie your way out of. If it happens during a conversation, be prepared with something like: “Did I really? I was thinking of this episode in a film where a guy called Bob found himself…” etc. etc.
It grows more and more exhausting
There are times when you can have little time for one person, and there are two clamoring for your attention! And the situation may grow upon you, so that you will have to mete out time for your first boyfriend, second boyfriend, friends and other people you have to meet. You’ve got your hands full and you don’t know what to do. You may get completely spent soon.
Your future is always on your mind
No matter how much you are prevaricating, you know that one day – and better sooner than later – you will have to make up your mind. You keep telling yourself that you’re in for trouble and you can’t let things go on as they are.
Nevertheless, as you try to perceive yourself in future with one of your two, you get lost. One seems better, and at the next moment it is the other. Your head is in a whirl.
Lies begin to pile up
As you’re striving to keep your precious two apart, the lies you have to tell augment by day. You invent occasions, things that crop up and require your attention all of a sudden, sometimes involving other people (friends and relatives) in bearing out figments of your imagination. Besides, you have to keep tabs on your previous lies – isn’t that too much?
Both scenarios are heading for failure
The longer you keep stalling, the slimmer your chances of maintaining both relationships are getting. Chances are, you will lose both as your tower of lies comes crashing down to the ground. What then? Just now you were overflowing with romance, and in another moment you’re stranded. Then you will realize what a foolish attempt it has been to get entangled between two fellows.
You take in the consequences and move on
You’ve collected masses of excuses, lies, tears, fears, and ended up in a total wreck. Now it’s clear that it’s all been one huge mistake on your part. You should have taken a firm stance and called yourself to commit to one decision. Now you won’t let the same thing happen again, because you know it’s overcharged – and, if no one of them was better than the other, they could hardly be the one you are looking for, could they?