Today we’ll talk about safety. Not safe sex, but in the urban surroundings, and not for everyone, but particularly for girls. Maybe this information will help you as well.
Plan A: avoid attacks
It is better not to get sick at all than to be treated, right? Of course, even very prudent and cautious people are sometimes attacked, but let’s think logically: many victims provoke their rapists themselves or take no measures to prevent the attacks. Of course, it is silly to walk alone in a mini skirt along dark alleys.
Determine whether you are being pursued
If your intuition or your instinct tells you that you are pursued, it is advisable to check this:
Cross the road and see whether the man did the same.
Accelerate and check whether the potential assaulter has reacted.
Even if the reaction did not occur at once, do not ignore your feelings – act.
Try not to panic
Whatever happens, try not to panic, stay calm, and think about self-training. Now it is important to explore everything that surrounds you – thus you will find a way to retreat or analyze what you can use to defend yourself. Calmness can save you.
Useful gadgets in case of attack
- Use a variety of gadgets for self-defense. These are the keys, which can be quite sharp, and you will be able to use them for defense or to confuse the attacker with an unexpected blow.
- Besides, there are key knives which one can simply keep on a bunch of keys, they are opened very easily, just like the famous Swiss knife, and can be used for protection.
- There are special self-protection devices where you just have to pull the pin, and they will produce a very loud bloodcurdling scream of a female. It is not so simple to silence them. Such things will not just call for help and draw attention, but can also scare the rapist or robber. Keep a new battery there.
- Besides, do not forget about the electric shocker. However, during the cold season, it may fail to work because of warm clothes. Therefore, you should target at the face.
- If you are armed, even with a gun, do not forget that you should not show the weapon to the bully or robber too early! If you warn him of the presence of the gun, you will deprive yourself of the most important thing – the surprise factor.
Plan B: If you still have been attacked – run
Here everything depends on your physical training and footwear (see the risk factors below), but overall, your chances of escape are much higher than of a victory in the fight. Do not display any heroism when this is unnecessary. You can be a very strong woman, but the striker will be stronger.
Plan C: if you cannot escape
This is the worst option, but when the choice is between “surrender” and “fight”, and the opponent is alone and unarmed, it makes sense to try to fight back, win a few seconds and return to Plan B.
- If you need to go home at night and the financial issue does not matter, call a taxi. It is unlikely that traveling around the city in a dark time is your daily attraction. Besides, it is silly to risk because of saving a dozen of dollars just once.
- Do not walk with loose hair. This may seem strange, but it often attracts a rapist.
- Use well-known, comfortable (short, without any impassable areas, a maze of garages and so on) and illuminated route from the subway station or a bus stop. You should know the street well because in case of the chase you need your inflamed brain to send the limbs in the right direction without hesitation. It should be comfortable because even the experience of sprinting will not save you from a snag in the forest area. Seconds are important. The street should be illuminated because when you are panic-stricken you can run into something even under the spotlight, to say nothing of the dark street.
- Warn someone that you have got out of the subway/bus and are walking towards the house. In case of trouble, you nearest will go and look for you. Under adverse circumstances (bad neighborhood, the only way is poorly lit, it is late night, it is a weekend and a bunch of drunk people around), ask your family to meet you. It may not be easy and one may feel reluctant to do so, but the road will be safer and funnier when walked in the company.
- Comfortable shoes are our best friend.
- Try to keep your hands free – it’s easier to move. Backpacks and shoulder bags with a short handle are preferable.
- Note that you should not rely on the bag as a weapon. Hitting the man in the face with a pack of products to cause at least some damage is the skill that you probably lack. Everything you can do is throwing the package at the aggressor to confuse him and win a second. Now the situation seems not so bad.
- If you walk down the street and see someone suspicious near, take the phone and clearly (but not ostentatiously loud) tell a friend / mother that you’re almost there, that they can come out and greet you (You may really call them). Do not look directly at the subject at this moment – such behavior provokes. Look around, cast a look at the man as if you do not care about his presence. Continue to quietly move toward the house.
- If you are still far from the goal and hear steps behind you, or you have realized that you are being pursued, on the contrary, turn around quickly and look straight into the eyes of the pursuer. The probability that you will be attacked after an evil confident look is reduced. After all, this person can be identified. This fact scares many people, and they stop following the victim. Though you are scared and this is the last thing you want to do at the moment, it can ensure your safety.
- Headphones. If you do not hear someone approaching you from behind, you will have to assess the situation when moving someone’s hands off your throat.
- It is an important issue if you have white (light, bright, noticeable) headphones, and the reason stated above is not the only one. They are seen from a mile away, even in the dark, especially against the background of contrasting clothes. If you’re unlucky and there is an evil citizen nearby, he will see an easy victim in you.
- Heels. Fans of heels will miss any explanation as if they were deaf. Just keep in mind that you will not escape anyone when on the heels. Don’t you believe? Put on your favorite studs and run 50 meters on the asphalt. Assess your speed and maneuverability (a spoiler: they will be somewhere at the level of Dr. House). This does not mean that in case of an attack you have no chance. You are not a runner or fighter. Below you will read more about it.
- Oh yes, heels clop a lot. Clop-clop-clop. On a deserted street you will get great acoustics. Do you remember everything that was said above about the white headphones and an easy victim?
The things that you are not ready to quit. Bags themselves are not a problem, but if you clung to them like Oliver Twist grabbing the last loaf of bread, you will present yourself to the attacker in all splendor. A credit card can be restored, a backup copy of the phone can be made, a passport is better to wear in the inside pocket, and the keys should be kept closer to the hands. Several hundred dollars in cash and a VIP-card of a cosmetic shop are not worth losing your life.
When running is not an option
Suppose you have been immediately pinned to the wall. This is not your sentence yet, and it is important to remember one thing: most likely, the attacker does not expect any resistance.
Almost all the “success stories” (the girl resisted and ran away) are the same:
– He was terribly surprised when I began to struggle.
– He was taken aback when I yelled.
The explanation is simple: the aggression of men is taken for granted (anger is almost the only emotion that society allows men to feel without shame), and women are systematically reminded against demonstrating it. Just because it is not “feminine”, and if you scream and are getting nervous, you are hysterical and sick in the head.
You can take advantage of this fact, as many would-be rapists are not entirely hopeless psychopaths; they are people of low morals, who use the opportunity: night, a lonely girl, alcohol in the blood, why not? Very often they are not willing to attack to get what they want. They just try their luck.
Your task is to make yourself clear that you will not give up easily
- Shout at full throat (“Fire!”, “Violence!” – it does not matter what you say, you can just yell something incomprehensible). Whether someone will help you or not depends solely on the cowardice of witnesses; you are not screaming for them to hear you; you are screaming to baffle the attacker.
- Push the assaulter. He is almost certainly stronger than you, but if you surprise him and demonstrate full resistance (adrenaline gives strength), you’ll get free and escape.
- To beat or not to beat depends on how lucky you are. You most likely cannot fight, and your punches at the most accessible places (torso, arms) will seem like mosquito bites to a big man.
- You can kick his legs, you are almost certainly lower than your rival, and legs are the weak point (the bones are within your reach, and the clothes are less dense), so your heels might come in handy. Performing a good kick with your knee into the crotch is not a trivial task, but a failed attempt can severely irritate the attacker. If there is no alternative, target the eyes (with your fingers, nails, keys). It is not easy to reach them, but it is the most vulnerable area of any person.
- Striking the nose upwards with the lower part of your palm can also be painful if you succeed. But be prepared to get a blow in response: one good man’s slap in the face may be enough for you not to recover. Do not stay calm, twist, kick, and do not let him strike you again.
- If the attack is practically impossible to avoid, fight fiercely to leave identifiable traces – a big bite on the face, a deep scratch on the leg, a torn piercing or even a puncture of the eyeball. It is as easy to identify as a tattoo. If you are in an enclosed space, such as the car of the attacker, try to leave more traces. Many abusers were found because of the DNA left in the car or the room, nail scratches or prints of the victim’s teeth.
- In case of the attempt to rape a woman in the limited space (in the apartment, in the dorm room, in the basement, and so on), the victim will find it particularly difficult to escape. The “hospitable host” has surely taken care of all the doors and windows to be closed on time; all the escape routes have been blocked. But these ways still have to be found very quickly and vigorously; if you need you should make your way out in the literal meaning. You can, for example, grab a chair or a stool and throw at the closed window for the pieces of broken glass to fall onto the sidewalk.
- One can also scream as loud as possible “Help! I’m being killed!” when leaning out of the window (try not to be injured by broken glass), There is no doubt that such an extraordinary situation will not pass unnoticed to the passersby, and if someone else is injured by a piece of glass, it is quite possible that the door to the apartment will be broken from the outside even before the police arrives.
- The sound of the breaking glass and your breathtaking cries from the open window in most cases should restrain the overly insistent womanizer. But if the rapist is not a timid one (or if he is under the influence of alcohol or drugs), he can continue his attempts, trying to pull you away from the window. In this case you should resist with doubled efforts.
- Remember that when you risk to be raped it can sometimes be enough not to stop the attacking person physically; you can provoke his mood change, and then sexual desire will be replaced by disappointment, fear, disgust, perplexity, and so on.
- You can try and pretend being a mentally deranged person: speak with a lisp and a stammer, make faces, while smearing makeup all over the face. However, the emphasis here should be on the demonstration of your own “external ugliness” and not on mental disability.
- What should you do if it did not help? Confidently tell the rapist that you have AIDS, syphilis, gonorrhea, trichomoniasis, chancroid, and a whole set of exotic (and therefore – incurable!) sexually transmitted diseases.
- Still in vain? Then, try to induce vomiting. Yes, vomiting using two fingers. When vomiting, it is better to smear the face, the body, the garment, and the very rapist as much as possible. Perhaps the rapist will even feel disgust.
If he is armed
What should you do if the rapist has a knife, and you can escape? Run like never before in your life. Can’t you do this? One blow, and you’re dead. If not immediately, then after half an hour. Act as you wish, there are no universal rules here. The main thing is not to give up.
Getting a portion of the burning mixture in your eyes hurts like hell, and it seems to be our ultimate weapon. There’s only one problem: it is extremely inaccurate. If you decide to have one, remember the following.
- The spray is useless at the bottom of the bag crammed with cosmetics and gadgets. The perfect place for it is in the side pocket. Train in advance to get hold of it instantly, when you are panic-stricken your hands may shake, all the valuable thoughts about survival evaporate from the brain, but the presence of muscle memory can save you. And if there is a suspicion that you are being traced (you hear steps behind, for example) – reach out for it immediately. It is better to look ridiculous than to regret.
- Do not use a spray in enclosed areas, such as in the elevator. You will spill it on yourself just as on the attacker.
- Even in the open space, the best posture for spraying is when you hold the spray in a stretched hand in the direction of the attacker’s head, leaning with your head and torso in the opposite direction, closing your eyes and mucous membranes with a free hand. Press the button, wave with your hand in the air (remember that the weapon is very inaccurate and the striker will try to dodge) and run!
- You can go to the park and practice using the spray stream pointing it at a tree trunk. Estimate how the liquid is dispersed in the space. You will not develop the immunity to it, but at least you will understand what to expect.
- The effectiveness of the spray is greatly reduced in the cold, so in winter it is better to warm it in your hand.
We hope you will never have to use these tips. Be careful, take care of yourself and appreciate your life.
If you have the experience of surviving in such situations, or other valuable tips, share them in the comments. Perhaps you will help someone.