Kate Gosselin recently indulged in a sun soaking vacation in Bald Head Island, N.C., without her husband Jon. According to experts, such vacations are beneficial for a relationship. Leslie Seppinni, a psychologist and family therapist has stated that a vacation without a spouse is a nice way of having some time apart.
This is excellent for couples who have some tension flowing through them or who needs a small break from each other. Apparently, such vacations are useful for getting an objective perspective and getting some time to rethink things.
Of course, this does not mean that there should be frequent vacations without the spouse, as this might lead to cracks in a marriage. Occasional vacations are useful for developing bonds between couples, as stated by Danine Manette, author of “Ultimate Betrayal: Recognizing, Uncovering and Dealing with Infidelity” (Square One Publishers).
Danine further explained that the point of these trips should be to attain mental stability and not just an escape from the spouse. If it’s the latter case, then the problems should be sorted out at home.
Seppinni has said that many others have been pursuing such vacations for a long time. Paul and Joanne Woodward went to trips alone. According to Seppinni, taking time alone is a positive sign that the spouses are acknowledging and honoring each other’s careers and likes.
BJ Gallagher, a sociologist and author of “Why Don’t I Do the Things I Know Are Good for Me?” (Berkley), also added that taking separate vacations enables a person to understand that spending too much time together may hurt any relationship.
She says, “What makes a relationship juicy and exciting are the different perspectives and experiences we bring to it. You need the separateness to appreciate the togetherness.”
A small vacation would suffice at times. On May 31, Katie Holmes went to the Grove in L.A. with her toddler Suri to spend some quality time with her child. In Touch reported that Katie Holmes bonded over sweets and shopping. A friend of Katie’s said that Holmes “likes being her own person.”
On the other hand, Seppinni has explained that not all vacations without a spouse are healthy. If a relationship is falling apart, then a vacation could mean that one of the spouses might end up meeting someone who seems like a better person to spend time with. Such a person could make one feel younger, prettier and sexier. If this is the case, the spouse taking the vacation might fall into the trap of an affair, which is a sign that the marriage is in a disastrous stage and should be taken into serious consideration. In such cases, the issues should be sorted out and dealt with.
Karen Sherman, the author of “Marriage Magic: Find it, Keep It and Make It Last,” has noted that today’s stressed couples don’t spend enough time together. She also said that going solo on vacation is okay in the sense that it makes a person miss his or her spouse. But a relationship should also be built upon quality time spent with each other. If a couple can’t do this, then their relationship is in jeopardy.
Source of the images: nydailynews.com, theinsider.com.
