Many people have to go through a break in a relationship. One cannot do without disappointment, pain, and resentment. There are a few rules to keep in mind when breaking up painfully. Here are the most common things to avoid after a breakup.
Concealing your emotions
After a breakup, it can be hard to regain your senses and get rid of depressing thoughts. Give yourself time to return to your old life. It can be useful to be sad and reflective, but only if it does not drag on for a long time.
Spend a couple of days alone with yourself and with your thoughts, and then start to get out of this oppressive state and get rid of the negativity. If you block bad emotions from the very beginning, they will catch up with you over time and make themselves more pronounced.
Not asking for support
For some people, parting is easy. Others cannot forget and let go of the past for a long time. If you consider yourself to belong to the second category, do not be afraid to ask for help.
Do you feel like you can’t handle it on your own? Call your friends, family, try to see your loved ones more often and do not worry that someone might think something wrong about you.
If the help of loved ones is not enough for you, consider addressing a specialist. A psychologist will help you survive a painful parting without consequences for the nervous system and health. Remember that asking for help is not a shame.
Starting a new relationship
When a long and strong relationship ends, it can be hard to come to terms with the idea that no one is around now. Feelings of loneliness and loss may push you to some reckless actions.
Try to think sensibly and do not immediately seek to replace a gone relationship. Give yourself time to regain your senses, think about what you need most now, what you really want. Only then you can be ready for the next stage of life. Take some time for yourself, and then the period after the breakup will be less painful.
You seemed to have a perfect relationship. Now, you are convinced that he was unworthy of you, behaved incorrectly and in general, how could you waste so much time on such an ignoble person? All these thoughts lead to an irresistible desire to take revenge, hurt and remind of your pride.
At this moment, you need to stop yourself from making a gross mistake. By choosing revenge, you aggravate your own situation in the first place. Firstly, this way you intensify your emotions and plunge even more into a negative state. Secondly, what you do out of revenge can be greatly regretted. Time will pass, and you will let go of the situation, but the deed will never be undone.
Retiring into your own shell
It’s okay to give yourself time to cry and be sad, but diving into this state for weeks or months is not a good idea. Spend some time alone and then start seeing friends and family more often. This way you will gradually relieve negative emotions and leave them in the past.
By closing up, you do not give yourself the opportunity to move on and live a complete, fulfilling life. As difficult as it is, get out of the house and interact with people. Fill your life with positive emotions, and the negative feelings caused by the separation will go away.
Getting rid of memorabilia and photos
The first desire after a painful breakup is to get rid of everything that reminds of this person forever. Do not rush to immediately throw away the other person’s gifts and delete photos from your phone. The first acute emotions will pass over time, and you will want to remember the time spent with your once loved one.
By throwing all the memorabilia out of your life, you will not erase the former partner from the past. Having experienced the separation and let go of all the negativity, you will feel that these objects have ceased to be part of the pain, but have become memories of a long period of your life, in which there were positive moments too.
The main thing to remember is that breaking up a long-term relationship is not the end of the world. You will definitely find another person who will bring a lot of positive emotions.
Mistakes in life do happen, and it’s important to take them as experiences and not as wasted time. Try to remember the positive moments, even if you did not manage to part beautifully, and do not focus on the negative and pain.