Some people cannot but lie. They are made that way, they utterly ignore the truth and lie even when it is not necessary to. It is highly inconvenient, especially if such people are among your coworkers. You can forestall prospective troubles if you identify such an individual in time, be aware of their habitual ploys, and know how to counterpunch.
Broadly speaking, all of us resort to lying on a regular basis. Psychologists give various numbers as to how many lies the average person tells in a day, or how many people will lie during a conversation of a quarter of an hour. People are accustomed to smoothing over small matters with small lies, to lie to avoid impoliteness and unpleasantness, to exaggerate or twisting the truth to scare a youngster off possible danger.
Nevertheless, the abovementioned kinds of lies are totally different from inveterate lying. An incorrigible liar lies so much that any type of socializing with them produces a strain and often causes dismay and mortification.
Some lies (or the total amount of lies) can become damaging or endangering when somebody believes them and follows up on them. To avoid that you ought to recognize when you are being dealt a string of lies and how you should react to compulsive lying and its perpetrator.
Here are the most common signs of a pathological liar.
You may fail to recognize them by their body language
When the liar is incorrigible, he or she won’t avert their gaze but will be looking at you unashamedly. Besides, an inveterate liar is usually very much relaxed when they give out their lies, it comes so naturally. They don’t exhibit any nervousness nor do they fidget. Similarly they don’t display many of the signs recounted in studies about common-type liars.
They often resort to generalizations or remain vague
It’s very difficult to remember well all the lies one spreads about. It may later cause confusion and embarrassment. So the best bet is to let out nothing that could be pinned down later. Stories are spun long and vague, all exact details are circumvented or glossed over, so that any chance of anything clashing with previous lies should be as slim as can be.
Inserting a wealth of details
On the other hand, some liars feel the pressure of the need to be believed. It incites them to intersperse their yarns with a wealth of details. They are certain details that make their lies look more realistic and convincing.
There are hardships in their lives
However careful and circumspect he or she may be, the inveterate liar must have been caught out and underwent dismissals and splits of relationships. This can be a strong indication if a person you know has gone through a slew of marriages/relationships and changed jobs – they may be habitual and brazen liars!
They don’t mind sharing what they were told in confidence
Other people’s confidences and secrets don’t mean much to a habitual liar. They love to exchange gossip. When they recount to you others’ tales, keep in mind that they may be corrupted out of recognition.
Their plans often get postponed, canceled, forgotten about
Fixing plans is fine, but you have to keep them in mind – and pathological liars are unable to do that. Things can intervene – and previously laid plans get canceled or even ignored.
They tell other people’s yarns as their own
When pathological liar hears a story he or she likes, they feel an urge to repeat it as their own, with themselves as protagonists. It is even more so if the story will place them in a favorable light. In this case they may be very open about private details.
They resent questions and may flare-up
Questions by the listener may imply inventing more lies on the spur of the moment – or bespeak mistrust. So the liar gets on the defensive and does their best to evade being questioned.
They don’t seem to capitalize on their lies
We usually lie with a purpose in view: to spare ourselves embarrassment, to squeeze out of a quandary, to achieve some end. But a habitual liar doesn’t wait for such necessities to turn up. They feel an urge to lie notwithstanding!
People around may get befuddled for this very reason: they don’t understand what the underlying cause of piling up lies is. It can be misleading.
Liars adore making themselves out as rescuers or victims
Rescuers, heroes, and victims tend to attract the most attention, and inspire sympathy, appreciation, and other strong feelings. So a liar will twist the storyline to paint themselves in the brightest colors possible.
They have different versions of the same event
No considerations prevent them from telling a story differently each time. They can’t but to embellish, and the details they thought up get forgotten later on.
They appear as if they honestly believed what they say
When relating their yarns, a pathological liar gets high and can enter the realm of delusion. They begin to get a notion that what they tell can be true, and their voice begins to ring true.
What’s more, this kind of liar is often quite a good actor! Such individuals are skilled speakers, able to establish rapport and arouse empathy. They are wonderful embellishers and have a sense of drama. Asked to expound they can speak for a long time without giving a distinct reply to a question or without yielding necessary information.
What can be done about pathological lying
First of all, inveterate lying can be a symptom of a psychiatric condition, and this particular condition will determine the type of treatment.
In some cases, psychotherapy might be resolved to be sufficient treatment, but if lying is found to be triggered by depression or anxiety, medicines can be prescribed to alleviate these conditions.
Some final reminders
When dealing with an inveterate liar on a long-term basis, you ought to remain supportive while comprehending the reasons underlying this mode of behavior.
Lying can be an overt indication of a concealed issue that requires a professional address. Calmly accentuate the need to seek help that can improve the condition.