I Can’t Undress in Front of My Partner! What to Do?

“I can’t undress in front of my partner. At first, I thought it was about him: perhaps I feel insecure in a relationship. But then I realized I’ve had this isse all my life and with any partner. Why am I ashamed of my naked body, and how do I overcome my shyness?”
Claire, 26.

We are all born unconditionally loving ourselves. But as we get older, our confidence wanes, giving way to complexes. Why does this happen? There are several important factors:

Evaluative judgments from childhood

In the first place, it is about the attitude towards you by your close relatives and then the evaluation of the environment. If you hear negative feedback about your appearance, this might form the basis of your insecurity in the future.

Psychological trauma

For example, when a man you like does not reciprocate. Even worse, if he tells you an unflattering “compliment” regarding your appearance.

Standards of beauty

Our society imposes our ideals and broadcasts them everywhere – Instagram, Magazines, TV, etc. Even if a woman is not influenceable, such a massive “beauty standards” attack can shake her confidence. She might begin to adjust herself to the gold standards. If something goes wrong here, chances are the woman might develop inferiority complexes and become very self-conscious about her looks and body.

How to become less conscious about your own naked body?

There are two ways to solve this problem: try to fix what you do not accept in yourself or love yourself for who you are. In the first case, the struggle can become endless: you can create a perfect body, but you will always feel that you are not good enough if you don’t love yourself.

The path of unconditional acceptance is much more forward-looking. By loving yourself, you will finally give up comparing yourself to others, see your positives and change your attitude toward the ones you’ve been denying. There are several practices that work: they will help you to love yourself and your naked body:

  • Look at yourself in the mirror more often without judgment. Notice details, admire yourself, get to know your reflection anew.
  • Do mirror practice regularly: get naked in front of a mirror and look at your body for about 30 minutes. Do it without criticism for 21 days, and you will definitely see good results.
  • Write a letter to your own body. Thank it for what it gives you daily. Ask forgiveness for criticizing it.
  • Use affirmation techniques. Say positive attitudes that will change the perception of your own body and instill confidence.
  • Try doing a couples art practice with your partner. Draw each other’s naked bodies. See how beautiful your partner sees you; see yourself through his eyes.
  • Find an attribute of self-confidence. This may be a beautiful revealing dress or high heels – something that makes you feel sexier. Perhaps you would prefer a string of pearls on your naked body that will accentuate your beautiful neck. These items will help you loosen up and stop feeling shy with your partner when naked.
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