Like real ghosts, live people can appear out of the blue and vanish without a trace. If you are in some kind of a relationship, it is so devastating when a person suddenly stops communicating without offering any explanation for why it happened. Ghosts just disappear as if they never existed.
But what reasons make people behave like that?
Actually, there can be multiple reasons why people should behave in this fashion; let’s look into some of them.
Out of fear: in relationships, there are many fears like meeting a fresh person or a fear of possible tensions leading up to a split.
Fear of conflict: human beings being gregarious animals, any kind of relationship misbalance puts them off badly and can endanger the quality of their lives. So some people would rather vanish into thin air than sort out an expected conflict, overcome resistance and settle other issues that can occur between individuals.
No vision of future: with a person who falls out of your customary circle, you may not feel any possibility of development. When you are bonded through social sites only or have little in common (or they believe so), breaking off suddenly may appear as something insignificant.
Minding yourself: supposing a person feels that a particular relationship is bringing down their life quality. It may look like an abrupt split can be a perfect answer to the problem, then helping avoid any arising issues.
These are just some examples. But what can you do to get over being ghosted?
Acknowledge your being hurt and feeling pain
If you feel like crying over it, why check yourself? It may be that there are feelings of shame and embarrassment involved in the last phase of your relationship; yet you didn’t make the ultimate move, and if somebody has to take the blame, it will be them – their decision wasn’t discussed with you, but was their own, right?
Think out the ways to deal with ghosting
When you encounter ghosting, the good idea is to have your reaction pat in advance. It is based on the understanding that the feeling of sadness has arisen not out of the loss of someone in your life, but rather out of the abruptness of the silent departure. Such behavior on part of another person is hardly a jab at your reputation – at theirs, rather.
Now that the person in question has clearly ghosted, do you really wish to hear from them? Need to know why, read their explanations? If they vouchsafed to throw light on their desertion, would it make you feel better? Chances are it would hurt you still more. So, instead of worrying what could have caused the rift, why not brush them off as insincere, irresponsible and unable to come up with proper reasoning? It will make it easier to leave them behind.
Such a relationship must also have its boundaries
By this time, you must have learned how far you want to go – whether it is serious or a passing fling, and how much attention you are ready to give and receive. If you are honest with yourself and let the other one know what terms you are in, everyone is likelier to play the game fairly.
Set a time limit for this relationship
The wait for contact has become too long and you feel bad about it? Once it has gotten to be annoying, you can send them a notice. You write them that you are waiting for their text or call, and if they fail to acquiesce, you will be assuming that they are out of the relationship. It’s a bit like rough handling, but it won’t leave you feeling like to be on the receiving end.
If you feel like blaming yourself at once, stop it
It may be quite a natural reaction to feel guilty but think – you don’t know what it was that made the other guy drop out of touch, so there’s no good reason to get at yourself and feel pained.
If you acquired negative thoughts, chase them away with positive ones
Some people live with a recurring question of whether they are on the level, up to the mark, as good as the next guy. When you begin to hear this question once too often inside you, switch it off and tell yourself strictly that you are good enough and you are in control of your life.
Find somebody to confide to
If you find yourself swamped in negative emotions and thoughts, you could get out by discussing this episode with some trustworthy friend or relative (maybe a therapist). It can be a good way out of darkness and a source of positive impressions.
See to it that you have sufficient exercise, sleep, a decent diet and are mindful
Your mental health requires good physical condition. If you are meditating regularly, doing yoga or workouts, if you try to live mindfully, you will be able to look after yourself and make sure you are fine despite this ghosting business.
Mind you don’t rely heavily on harmful substances
Of course, you will be able to achieve a numbing effect with a supply of stiff drinks or drugs, but you know this alleviation is not meant to last. The numbed feelings like this can surface again and color your following relationship when you least expect it.
Find time for your relatives and friends
You will undoubtedly feel better among your nearest and dearest who understand and accept your feelings. Fulfilling relationships will help you get over the ghosting experience and perceive it from the proper perspective.
If you believe that they deserve a modicum of compassion, think of them in this vein
Now, this is a feeling you don’t owe to the ghost, but maybe they have shown that they have a weak point that can be pitied. What they did they lost an excellent possibility, lost their face and played chicken in the face of a serious relationship. So, who of you is worse off?
You are bound to forget about the vanishing person after a while
Being hurt by an unpleasant episode is unavoidable; dwelling and brooding on it would hardly be worth your while. Acknowledge your grievance, live it down and meet other people who will provide you with a healthier relationship.