According to the local registry office, 300 couples have already filed for divorce since February 24 in one of the Chinese cities in Sichuan, Dazhou province.
According to the employee of the institution, Lu Shijun, this is due to the fact that many spouses began to spend time together. They quarrel violently and then file for divorce, as the Daily Mail writes.
Similar trends are observed in other Chinese cities. One of the branches of Xi’an City received more divorce applications than their employees are allowed to accept per day.
But there is another point of view. Perhaps the increase was partly affected by the temporary closure of many institutions. So, the people who could not file for divorce during the quarantine are forced to do so now.
Therefore, we are going to tell you how not to quarrel with your relatives (not only with your husband) during the quarantine.
Do not change the usual routine
The first recommendation is not to change the daily routine. It is very important for both the child and the parents to live according to the usual scenario. Waking up, having breakfast, having a lunch break, spending the evening and going to bed should correspond to the previous daily routine. This is very important because we minimize stress and do not cause re-adaptation of the body in such a way. Any physiological or environmental changes cause stress, and we need to adapt to them in one way or another.
Organize your workspace
This recommendation is useful for the child as well. The children who study remotely and the parents who work remotely find personal space very important. If it concerns a child, nothing should distract from studying. It is important to minimize everything and leave only a table, a pen, paper, and some textbooks. The same is true about an adult. This contributes to self-organization, internal control, and the working spirit.
Create a workplace at your desk. For example, put your favorite tea cup there.
When we stay in the same place for a long time (especially if we don’t have our own room), the risk of quarreling increases. It is important to identify the rules and somehow discuss them in advance. Allocate to someone part of the room, if we are talking about a single-room apartment. One needs to get isolated and remain alone for some short period of time. It is very important not to be supervised, not to remain in somebody’s watchful presence – the person really has such a need.
Find a hobby
Since many are at home during the coronavirus, you need to come up with some kind of a hobby. How will we entertain ourselves, learn something new, find sources of inspiration and information load? It is necessary to change the focus not only on what is happening in the surrounding world, but also on something informative, interesting, and creative.
The main recommendation is to find what a person – be it a child or an adult – really likes. Such an activity will inspire, and it does not require attention from another person.
Explain to children what quarantine is and why it is needed.
We are not living under a “protective dome” of any kind. We receive information from social networks, radio, television, and the Internet. Therefore, the topic of quarantine needs to be raised with children. But how? Firstly, we need to say what really happens. We must operate only facts rather than give our assessment: “at present, there is a disease.” But it is important to talk to children about the precautions that can protect them from this virus (washing their hands, isolation, attention to health, distance from passers-by and animals). It must be explained that these actions are enough at this stage and they must be observed.
Spend enough time with your child so that he/she does not feel abandoned during the quarantine. Outside of business hours, get engaged in joint games or hobbies.
It is important to explain to the child what to do in a situation if a close person gets sick. The child has a fear that his parent, the closest person will fall ill, and this fear is the greatest. Therefore, we explain to the child what adults do in this situation: call an ambulance, find the medicine. You need to tell your child that medicine really helps. Another fear that occurs in children is the fear of death. If this topic has got more serious and there is a need to talk about it separately, you must discuss what death is and why it happens.
“Filter” the information
Nervousness or panic occurs when we have many uncertainties. When we do not know how the disease appeared, how long it takes, how to cure it. Therefore, our task is to “filter” the information we receive. Protect yourself from the surrounding messages and reports, media, and conversations on this topic. The fewer unverified sources we have, the less anxiety there will be.
Anxiety and panic appear when we are bored, when we feel that we are emptied emotionally. Therefore, our task is to understand what we really want. Maybe we should do something else, something interesting or useful instead of discussing this topic. A person who does not have time and who feels emotionally rich will not raise this topic – he just has no resources.
Divide your time between work and personal life
Stick to your timing and plan your time – divide it between work and home. We have regained a few hours that we used to spend on the road to work, so they can be spent for the benefit of work or for our own needs. But in general, we must delimit our space so that we have a working area and a home area. Self-organization skills are required here: to get ready, do makeup or get dressed – this creates self-discipline and a sense of performance.
Start your work day from home with a made-up bed and an appearance that suggests discipline. This will give you additional motivation to work and to seem a responsible employee for video communication with colleagues.
Why is it important to change the space even in the apartment? Because it automatically takes us out of the comfort zone, out of a sitting or lying position. Do not forget about timing either. When the working time is over, we can afford to be busy with household chores.
Both adults and children choose a beautiful candy with a bright candy wrapper. We have the same approach to life: in order to reduce dissatisfaction, we must create maximum comfort and interest around us. Let us return to the organization of the workspace: maybe, you will take your favorite tea cup or a workbook in which you will write everything down, a notebook, a diary – organize the space that gives you visual pleasure. The more “anchors”, signals and objects that cause joy we have around us, the better we will cope with stressful situations.
Explain to your family how to communicate with you when you work.
Direct communication needs to be built here. Of course, we keep age in mind. A five-year-old child is able to understand what is happening in the life of an adult. He is ready to reason and think. It is important to explain that the parent works at specific hours to get paid or needs to go shopping. In this case, you can make it clear to the child, if you hang the “Do Not Disturb” sign. The child can also take part in creating this note. You can get a timer that will signal when the parent is ready to chat. For example, a parent has worked for two hours and then he has ten minutes to chat with the child.
As for the younger age, it is more difficult to explain to the child why the mom and dad are nearby, but they cannot approach him. Help of the nearest people is needed: mutual assistance and setting the priority in work. It is necessary to provide and receive support.