Brianna Wiest, an American writer, has told us how to cope with anxiety and overcome stress, as well as the probable causes of anxiety.
Improve the connection with reality
The opposite of addiction is not the internal balance but contact with reality. The same applies to anxiety. Anxiety is manifested in the fact that the person ceases to live in the present moment, is detached from other people and himself or herself. At such times, you need to reconnect with the reality.
Allow yourself to want what you really want
Without this, you will not be able to get rid of anxiety. No matter what you want: find a partner in life, find a new job, earn more money, or get your colleagues’ recognition. Just realize and accept it, whatever the opinion of others about you might be.
Understand what is important to you
If you find it difficult to understand what you really want, look closely at your most powerful fears. What is hidden on their reverse side? This is what you want.
Treat with gratitude what is causing you discomfort
The sad and amazing fact is that happy people usually have no incentive for development; they are content with what they have. If you experience any inconvenience, that should be a signal to you that you are standing on the threshold of something new and better, but you need to act to achieve this.
Constructability and productivity must become your best friends
It is not about ticking off points of a long to-do list. At the end of the day, you should know that you have managed to do something (anything!) useful for yourself.
Stay active
You can usually get rid of pointless alarm by doing anything practical. Anxiety over nothing generally indicates the existence of real problems, which you are trying to avoid.
Start with the doable
You have to start from where you are, use what you have and do what you can do. All the rest is the escape from real-life problems and yourself. Change is the result of long and persistent development. If you think otherwise, you are blinded with illusions that don’t allow you to cope with what is bothering you.
Don’t be afraid to show weakness
Try to consciously get in touch with anyone or reconnect with people who are already present in your life. It may be just one person you trust and with whom you interact. This interaction will be the starting point for the formation of healthy emotional attachment. To need love does not mean to show weakness.
Keep a diary
When you feel that your insides twist, keep a diary and write down everything that comes into your head, even if it seems terrible, disgusting, shameful or full of hatred. Do not keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself! Once you’ve done it a few times, you’ll notice that it actually becomes easier.
Calm down
The only thing you need to do when you are overcome with anxiety or panic is to try to calm down. At such moments, you lose the clarity of thought, so you are not able to make any important decisions and assume any obligations. Find out what may help you calm down (a snack, a bath, a conversation or any activity that you really enjoy), and change your negative way of thinking before you start doing something.
Live in the present
You need to understand how to live in the moment, even if this way of life and thinking frightens you, causes boredom or seems unattainable. The sense of anxiety gives us a signal that we are stuck in thoughts about the past or future, and this affects the decisions we take in the present.
Act
You should take some action to get rid of what prevents you from realizing your true desires.
Change yourself
These changes occur at the level of actions. A person begins to do something completely different, what he or she hasn’t done before.
Read
If you do not read, maybe you have not found a book that could inspire you. What you are reading at the moment will affect what you will be in decades. Search the Internet for articles and essays, in which people tell how they cope with their fears. Knowing that many people experience the same feelings, you will no longer feel alone in your problems. Read about what is difficult to understand, what horrifies you or brings delight. Just read.
You can take control of your feelings
It is important to remember that. It is not that difficult. Just tell yourself, “I don’t want to experience the emotions I experience now, so I’ll focus on other aspects of the problem”.
Get rid of false beliefs
If you believe that you just cannot become happy or influence what you feel and think, you condemn yourself to a very hard life. In this case, you don’t need to read this article, because only believing in the opposite can help you cope with the problems.
You won’t get rid of anxiety and fear forever
If you care about what is happening in your life, and you’re at least a bit interested in what is happening around you, you will always encounter something that causes fear or anxiety. Your ultimate goal is to completely eliminate these feelings. You need to train your mind to feel happy, despite stress factors, and not freeze when they appear. That’s all.
Look at yourself from the outside
To gain control over your own mind, some people only need to change their point of view. Others need years of treatment with various drugs and therapy, as well as very intensive self-cultivation. It’s a battle of our whole life and the main debt that we have to pay ourselves. If you need to fight someone, let it be yourself.
Any problem is not a problem as such
The problem is still there until you perceive it that way. Your inner alarm system gives a signal because the situation doesn’t fit your habitual way of thinking and behavior. This does not mean that you are rushing towards inevitable endless suffering. This suggests that somewhere deep inside you know that you can live differently, better. This means that you know what you need, even if it scares you.
Choose love
It may sound like a useless annoying advice, but you shouldn’t separate with people who make your eyes shine, do not need to give up what you like to do (even if it is not connected with your job), or abandon your innermost desires. Choose love, even if the choice frightens you. In fact, your fear of doing something equals your desire to do so.
Learn to express your feelings, including pain
This does not mean that you have to use it as an excuse for irresponsible behavior. You must learn to accept that you feel pain, express it in words and accept the fact that you sometimes need to experience such emotions.
Learn how to get rid of internal emotional waste
For example, if you do not allow yourself to accept the fact that your ex has caused you much pain and actually feel this pain, you will continue projecting your negative experiences on the new partner, being afraid that he’ll hurt you, believing that you should not even try to start a new relationship. Thus, you will reproduce the situation, which you are most afraid of. This can be avoided only by understanding and accepting your feelings.
Reflect
Separate the sensations in your body from what they mean, in your opinion. When you’re frustrated, ask yourself what your body really feels in the moment. Most likely, it will just be a small strain or discomfort. Everything else is what you’ve imagined yourself.
You do not need to trust all your emotions
According to conventional wisdom, you need to follow your emotions, but this is very unwise, considering the variety of reasons that can cause them (random thoughts, memories and so on). If you blindly trust all your feelings, they will constantly upset you. Determine for yourself, which of your feelings mean something, and which don’t.
Imagine yourself from the future
Use this very powerful self-development technique. If you find it difficult to decide whether you need kids or not, just imagine you as a 75-year-old. Do you want to be surrounded by family members, or you would be quite comfortable to live alone? Imagine what your life will be after three years. Will you be happy that you haven’t tried to save a relationship, haven’t made any savings or have spent a lot of time watching TV, while you could have written a book, opened a business or started composing music?
Imagine your life through the eyes of the person you aspire to become. This will help you to solve the numerous issues that bother you.
