Sex and Marriage

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Sexual relationships change after wedding, and so do both spouses. It happens quite often that many couples feel their sex drive towards each other blunts. For these couples, having sex once a month becomes a norm. Every day problems each couple faces greatly contribute to this decrease in sex drive. He who induced only positive emotions earlier now becomes associated with dirty socks scattered all over the house and strange stains on a toilet rim. Why this happens and what can we do about it?

Wedding rings

How Sex Changes with Time

While earlier sexual intercourses always felt new, now you often experience deja vu. Of course, you can’t blame it all on this. Actually, keeping sexual relationships exciting requires much creativity and learning new things.

Why Sex after Marriage Is Often Boring

At first stages of relationship, our hormonal profile is different. What we call “love” triggers the release of certain hormones into the blood, which boosts sex drive. These hormones keep us having sex all night long and then working all day long without feeling tired. 1-1.5 years later, these processes begin to slow down. Some people may experience the change even earlier. The lack of this hormonal “dope” blunts sexual relationships. It means that now you have to try harder to get your partner in the mood.

How to Make Post-Marriage Sex More Exciting

That’s why you have less sex. And if you do have it, it comes out pretty boring. Yet, you can restore fading feelings if you’ll give it a good try. When hormones fail to do their job, it’s time for creativity. Experimenting with new caresses and poses can help reveal new erogenic zones and get early sensuality back. While earlier sex was about overwhelming emotions, it now becomes a process that brings new feelings and helps partners to learn new things about each other.

Share Our Sexual Desires

So what’s the action? Share with each other. If you want to change something, make you partner understand what and how you’d like it most. Find caresses that would please you both.

How to Save Sexual Life in Marriage

Top tip on how to save any sexual relationships is about trying to satisfy the partner. If both spouses share this attitude, their sexual life will be rewarding. Until egoism prevails, you’ll keep fighting because one of you gets satisfied and turns his or her back on the other.

10 COMMENTS

  1. Unfortunately very often it’s egoism that prevails in the sexual relationship, especially regarding men. And after this attitude to the partner they sincerely wonder why women don’t want to have sex with them.

  2. The same happened in my family. The dating period was hot, then we married and started living together, the first 1-1,5 year sex was great, too and after it we had it less and less often, as you say, the hormones are not released. And now we’ve been living together for 4,5 years and my wife gave birth to our son and because if him we have to sleep in separate rooms – me in our bedroom and her in the baby’s, because I need to wake up early and work and he is crying all night long. I love our baby but I miss those hot days we could have sex 2-3 times a day.

  3. It was the same in our family. After I gave birth sex happens so rarely, I can even name those few days…

  4. I am 35 years old and my partner is 37. We have two children. I would like to be able to be intimate with my partner 2 or 3 times a week. My partner feels that 2 or 3 times a month is enough. In fact, every time we are intimate, it actually feels as if she was doing me a favor. Needless to say, I have to take the initiative. The last time I gave her room to take the initiative, we did not have sex for more than a month. I make sure that she climaxes every time we have intercourse, but this still does not encourage her to have sex more often, or to look forward to have sex. Although she can set the limits on how often we have intercourse, I don’t have a say on how active our sex life should be. Furthermore, she has a full set of boundries, no-nos, rules on things she is willing or unwilling to do, things she does not like, etc. I can understand someone not liking certain things, but sometimes I feel like I am paying for sex and that anything else other than the actual penetration is forbidden.

  5. We are in our mid 60s and sewx is unexciting, boring and total waste of time. We have been
    married for 43 years and hadn’t had sex in about 30 years. We didn’t miss it to much. After our second child we devoted all our time to bringing up our kids. Sex slid off the back burner and behind the stove. That was the last of it.

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