While sex doesn’t come with an official instruction manual, Kim Anami is a GPS to intimacy. The sex guru tackled the topic of casual sex on her podcast “Orgasmic Enlightenment.”
Blending current information from neurosciences with the ancient wisdoms of Tantra and Taoism, Kim Anami is perpetually whipping up ways to offer others tips on better sex — and she practices the mantra: “Come one, come all.”
“Casual sex is actually a massive contradiction and oxymoron. It’s an illusion,” Anami explains. “Sex, by its very nature and definition, is anything but casual and inconsequential. The whole idea of casual sex is entirely opposite to the type of sex that I teach people to have, which is sacred, profound, and life-changing. All of your walls are down and you are deeply connected. In fact, the secret ingredient and most key ingredient for life-changing sex is vulnerability and total surrender. That is the kind of sex that changes your life. That is gourmet sex.”
For Kim Anami, keeping gourmet sex on the menu is a fundamental factor for enjoying life. “When you fully open yourself to someone, heart and genitals, you tap into the magical, creative superpower that is the life force energy of the universe. The cosmic connection that you create in a relationship like this allows you to unleash your and the universe’s superpowers — the transformative and enlightening energy that is the heart of conscious sexual union is yours to inhabit and wield anytime.”
Despite casual sex being a quick-hit, less-nourishing version of taking care of business, Anami says contemporary culture glorifies it. “We are bombarded with it constantly in the media, pop songs, movies, and television shows,” she says. “My thoughts on casual sex are not born out of any moral judgment. I do not give a f–k who or what you decide to consensually do with your body. My apparatus for decision-making is always, ‘Does this give me energy or take it away?’”
Kim Anami Defines ‘Junk Food Sex’
The sex advice maven says it all comes down to junk food sex versus gourmet sex. “A couple could be married for 30 years and be having junk food sex,” Anami says. “It’s the kind where one or both of them just wants to get off and get it over with as fast as possible or just check a box to say they have sex once a week, or once a month, or once a year — whatever it might be. We can say that casual sex is a form of junk food sex because, by its very definition, you are not trying to go deep and expose yourself and open up. My work does not apply to casual sex.”
For men, Anami says the most valuable bedroom skill dudes can cultivate is stamina. “Men need to be able to have sex for a minimum of an hour without ejaculating,” Kim Anami declares. “Focusing on this when you are single is an epic way to build your sexual magnetism, boost your testosterone, and increase your c–k and overall confidence.”
She says women need to work on strengthening their vaginas through the use of jade yoni eggs. Anami offers instructional salons for women and men to up the ante when it comes to building stronger sexual skills in the sack.
For singles, Kim Anami stresses it’s prime time to practice on oneself, especially since there’s an exchange of karmic energy during sex. She quotes Hindu god Shiva from an old Tantric text: “Sex has the power of both illusion and liberation depending on the participant’s degree of conscious awareness. When a person accepts a sexual act as a gift, exchanges take place on several different levels simultaneously.
“There is a physical exchange and blending of secretions, a psychological exchange of life energies and polarities and attitudes, a karmic exchange through a convergence of destinies, and there is a spiritual exchange — a communion of spirits.
“On the highest level, all of these exchanges add to the quality of the couple. During high acts of Tantric sex, karmas and unresolved personality conflicts can be totally transcended.”
Anami says she views it as the highest use of sex.
“When you’re engaging in an act that is designed to combine every cell, every bit of genetic code that exists within you with another person, do we really think that this only happens on a physical level?” she asks.
“What the Tantric text doesn’t say is: ‘What happens during low acts of sex?’ Sexual encounters open an energy portal for a person’s negative traits to come through to you as well. I have been with people who brought their literal demons into bed with me, particularly those people who used drugs and alcohol, which open up your energy body, and they leave holes in your aura for entities to come through.”
Casual Sex is Not All It’s Cracked up To Be, Says Kim Anami
Anami says casual sex adds to the dimming of one’s light. “Every time you are having casual sex, you are imprinting on your system the vibration of contracting and holding back and only sharing certain parts of yourself in order to be accepted,” she says. “Casual sex is an embedded practice of dimming your light and reducing your uniqueness and your value to try to connect with somebody and that’s the energy and the messages that you are giving your deepest self during the apex of one of the most creative moments.”
Anami believes these kinds of transcendent relations are within reach for everyone — and she’s here to help.
“To have the kind of sex that changes you and isn’t just busting out a ‘lustgasm’ or a ‘stressgasm,’ you need to feel safe and you need to feel seen,” Kim Anami says. “You have to have emotional and sexual surrender.”