When a man walks by you and does a double-take, what is it that makes him look? If there’s someone whom you really wish to make a part of your life, it’s a question that you can mine for amazing insights. Analyzing what happens in the instant when a man instinctively turns back for another look, is gold. Here are observations obtained through such analysis, and ideas for how you might use them to win the kind of attention that you would love more than anything.
Your basic look
There are a number of things about women that men instinctively take in the second they spy them — the authenticity of the smile, the gentleness of the gait, and the promise of genuineness are among qualities instantly noticed. Certainly, these aren’t qualities that you could change on a whim. Nevertheless, you’d be surprised how much change is visible the moment you start trying.
Don’t look like you’re high maintenance
One of the quickest steps that you can take to letting your real self shine through is to simply cut down on the kind of expense that goes into getting your look together. While you do want to spend money on skin creams and moisturizers that help you with better skin, expensive makeup and hair extensions should probably go. Many men instantly recognize the scent of high maintenance in a look, and are scared away. The easygoing look is one of the basic ideas of the how to seduce a man rulebook.
The larger the size of your posse of friends as you go about town, the harder it’s going to be for any man to approach you. Any more than one or two girlfriends is always a bad idea. If you hang out with other guy friends, you’re positively driving other men away.
There’s a lot more that you can do to signal your openness. You don’t want to ever appear preoccupied when you’re around the person that you’ve set your cap on, puttering around on your cellphone or listening to music over your headphones, for instance.
You also don’t want to ever play mind games, appearing hard to get. If there is conversation, be open and friendly; if there is a suggestion of romance, pick up on it, rather than letting it slip by. Letting your guard down and being direct makes a woman truly attractive.
As big and as strong as men may appear, they are often deeply insecure about the way things can go when they either approach a woman, or talk to a woman about the possibility of romantic love. A brushoff can hurt very much, after all. It can work greatly in your favor to signal safe approach. Eye contact and a smile can go a long way. In one study, men were found to approach women who smiled four times as often as those who didn’t.
Make him feel important (in a subtle way)
It’s easy to put on the helpless and vulnerable look when you want to attract a big, strong man. While this may have been a reasonable idea a few decades ago, it is anachronistic today. Women need to be independent, strong and capable. Carrying these qualities with a touch of sweetness, though, can make all the difference. If there is anything at all that you can do to help the man you have your eye on, you should go out of your way to do it.
Get to him through his friends
While getting to someone through their friends or family is something stalkers in the movies do, you can try it in a sensible way. Rather make a project of inserting yourself into the lives of a bunch of friends or family members of the person you like, consider going with perhaps one friend or family member each month or so. The more he finds you in his circle, the more he will find himself thinking of you.
Of course, the easiest way to attract someone is to simply walk up to them and tell them how great you think they are. It doesn’t really have to be complicated.
Since 2009, Eric Charles has been writing love advice, dating tips and relationship women all over the world. He’s delved deeply into the psychology of how to understand men, what men want in a relationship and what makes men commit, as well as how to deal with relationship problems of all shapes and sizes. Eric has always been interested in the human mind and is passionate about helping people improve their lives on every level. Eric has contributed to several websites, utilizing his insights and skills to help both men and women find happiness within themselves as well as in their relationships. Today, Eric is the co-founder of A New Mode, A New Modes Ask a Guy and co-author of “Hes Not That Complicated”.