In case you hadn’t noticed, divorce statistics these days are nothing less than staggering. A full 50 percent of all American marriages wind up in divorce court. Are people simply marrying the wrong mates, or is something stranger going on? Sometimes, it’s best to agree to disagree and move forward. Here are a few savvy relationship tips that might spare your marriage.
What do married people fight about?
Typically, married couples fight about money and where and how to spend it. If one half of a couple does all the earning and the other does most of the spending, a good sit-down talk about finances is in order. Approach the subject calmly, perhaps at a restaurant where neither of you will feel the need to raise a voice.
What you should never say to your spouse
Words can be very hard to forget, especially when uttered by a loved one in anger. Blanket statements such as “Why don’t you ever” and “Why do you always” put a partner on the defensive and do precious little to resolve conflict.
In fact, accusing a spouse of being unable to deliver happiness is a sure way to set yourselves up for a breakup.
Psychology Today reminds us that nobody enjoys being criticized. Even so-called constructive criticism can cause a person to retreat from a relationship. Treat your spouse as you’d want to be treated, with kindness, compassion, humor and respect, and you may see a wonderful improvement in your marital relations and avoid the worst. You want to exhaust all possibilities before ending up visiting DivorceGuru.
Tips to keep love alive and well
Amie M. Gordon PhD. is a psychologist who specializes in relationships. Gordon notes that not failing in marriage is a decidedly different thing than succeeding in wedlock. She also adds that couples who deal with a lot of negative interaction during the early years of marriage are likely to split soonest, while couples who experience little or no super-positive stuff tend to get divorced somewhat later.
Playing together is a sure way to keep a young-at-heart attitude no matter how many years or decades a couple has been together. Enjoy a comedy movie on date night, and let the laughter buoy your joy for one another. Give each other cute (not teasing) pet names.
When your spouse expresses dissatisfaction with some aspect of your relationship, work it out with lighthearted humor.
Experience new things as a couple! Traveling together and seeing the world as a twosome can add depth to a relationship.
Closer to home, experiment with new foods at offbeat restaurants or go exploring a part of town you’ve never seen before. Cheering on a local sports team can be a fun, outdoorsy way to bond, as well.
Marriage can be a wonderful adventure when two people complement and support one another. When neither partner feels a need to be right or to have the upper hand at all times, a couple can indeed live happily ever after.
Angela Fason is a couples counselor who also writes articles in an effort to reach a wider online audience and, in truth, save more relationships and marriages. Her articles can be read on a range of women’s lifestyle blogs.