Addict in Your Family: 5 Communication Rules

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Find the strength to follow these rules. Today we will tell you how to behave if there is an addict in your family.

The people, who have fallen victims to emotional or drug addiction, are poisoning not only their own life but also that of the relatives. It is important for friends and relatives to know how to build a relationship not to harm anyone.

Anyone depends on something or is addicted to something. Some addictions are small and harmless, while others are pathological and dangerous ones.

A drug addict is ready for anything for the sake of his addiction. A gambler, hoping for some winnings, is able to sell even his wedding ring.

The relatives are trying to convince the addict to quit, but they face stiff resistance. Any attempts to address the topic end in a scandal. At best, everyone remains loyal to their own belief. At worst, the relatives have a nervous breakdown, disgusting emotional sediment, and the “culprit” is away, extinguishing the stress in his usual way.

Encouraging him to voluntary treatment is extremely difficult. But properly built communication will help to get a chance for recovery.

1. Preparation

If a person is pathologically denying everything, if he is constantly trying to manipulate you – you cannot start communication without a strategy. Clearly remember your goal and stick to it in your conversation with the addict. This will help maintain confidence because the more emotions you have, the worse the result will be.

2. Start with the words of support

It’s better to start with the phrase: “You are a dear person to me, but …” or “I love you, but …” and after that already dictate your conditions. If you start to communicate with a negative tone – you will be opposed fiercely.

3. Cultivate denial

You must deny at least three times during the conversation. An addict is also a manipulator and an energy vampire. Even if you started a conversation, he will push your boundaries. Defend them even in small things. The game will be on his field then, and you will be surprised how the tone of your conversation will change.

4. Talk more about feelings

When you speak the language of feelings, rather than of pity and accusations, the addict gets fewer opportunities to put forward counterarguments. Preparing for the conversation, track how you feel about the situation. Instead of saying “you rascal!”, say “I’m completely exhausted…”

Believe it, this is not an indicator of weakness! If you describe your feelings – it is easier to be heard. The addict has a defense system against accusations, and a story about your experiences can disarm him and allow you to change the situation according to your desire and plan.

5. “We” rather than “me”

When negotiating with an addict, take advantage of the fact that his whole environment supports you. Use phrases such as: “My mother and I believe that…” or “the whole family decided so.”

Using these points in a conversation with an addicted relative, you can significantly simplify the achievement of goals for hospitalization and treatment of the loved one.