With the introduction of Speed Dating and Tinder, the modern dating world has quickly changed over the years. As is true for most areas of modern life, dating apps and events are designed to offer quick fixes to our dating dilemmas – if our potential date ticks all the boxes in their Tinder bio, all it takes is a quick swipe to the right and we’re ready to throw on our best outfits and test just how much of a match we really are.
The problem with these approaches to dating is that you are starting out without any really basis or emotional connection, therefore you are skipping a huge part of what actually constitutes dating. One of the most exciting things about the initial dating process is locking eyes for the very first time, working up the courage to approach those seductive eyes and then finally initiating a conversation that will quickly tell you everything you need to know: do I click with this person? Do we have a good conversation dynamic? Are we on the same level of flirtatiousness? Do we share the same, or at least similar, interests in common?
Sure, you can easily start up a conversation via Tinder chat or other online messenger groups, but there’s a reason people talk about “love at first sight” as opposed to “love at first click”. If you truly want to find your soul mate, you’ll have to venture away from your screens and out into the world. Here are 4 tips for those who are looking to find a soul mate.
Broaden Your Horizons
If you spend most of your time trying to find that special someone on dating apps or at the same local bar every Friday night, it’s time to start exploring new territories. It’s not always easy to chat someone up in a loud, dark bar, especially if you’re prone to shyness. Try to find other venues of interest, particularly day-time venues such as quietly buzzing cafes or sporting facilities where one on one interaction won’t be interrupted or halted by loud music or intoxicated people. Another way to meet new people who could become your soul mates, is by signing up for classes or group activities, this way you are bound to meet someone who shares the same interest as you.
Know What You Are Looking For In a Partner
There’s a big difference between looking to date just for fun, and dating with the purpose of finding your soul mate. If you’re just looking for a good time, there’s nothing wrong with spending a few weeks hanging out with someone who is fun and exciting and not much else. But if you already know that you want more than that, don’t settle for less: trust your instincts. If you know you need someone who has the same energy drive as you, don’t settle for a couch potato. Opposites attract, yes, but only to a certain extent.
Find Your Own Happiness
If you are happy and confident within yourself, others will pick up on it. “You can’t love another until you can truly love yourself” – it may sound like somewhat of a cliché, but it’s true. The act of self-love is the greatest lesson in finding lasting love with another person. If you are not happy with yourself, you will end up projecting your own insecurities on to your partner and that’s a dangerous space to be in. Before you decide to dedicate your time to someone else, focus on yourself: work on your own fears and shortcomings, do what makes you happy and builds your confidence and enjoy being single. If you go into a new relationship feeling confident within yourself, it’ll be easier to find confidence within your relationship.
Don’t Judge a Book by its Cover
We all have certain expectations, or at the very least, preferences, when it comes to the appearance of our potential partners. You may have spent your teens and early adolescents pining for a guy with Leonardo DiCaprio’s soft facial features, or a girl with Scarlett Johansson’s irresistible curves. But looks aren’t all that matters when it comes to finding your soulmate, and often, it will be your partner’s personality traits that will make their appearance even more attractive to you. So don’t turn someone down just because they don’t look the part – give yourself a chance to get to know them and you might soon discover their real beauty within.