Sometimes we are all too sensitive. Especially this summer, when bad news no longer surprises us. On such days, any comment from your boyfriend or husband, girlfriend or boss is taken as a serious blow to the ego, the only purpose of which is to mortally offend you. A sneering look, an occasional comment, or a hint of criticism is enough to make you feel pained to the very core, and slam the door, bursting into tears.
It is clear that all your colleagues and friends notice your emotional outburst, and some unfair thing happens: they put a label of a very sensitive person on you, with whom “it is necessary to be more delicate because his/her nerves are shot.”
Not every woman can boast of impenetrable self-confidence, and it’s perfectly normal. It is not necessary to narrow the perception down to two possible reactions: take the unflattering remark to heart, or ignore it completely. Look at the situation as a possibility to derive positive not only from praise, but also from criticism. In most cases, you can accept criticism from a constructive point of view – assess the information received and use the knowledge gained to your advantage.
How to hush profound indignation and start thinking analytically instead of being offended? There are three simple tips to help you do this.
1. Keep calm and don’t react right away
A colleague made a joke or a snide comment about you. Of course, there is reason for indignation: what he did was wrong. Having realized this, try not to run away in rage and do not be rude in response. Take a deep breath and prolonged exhale, repeating a short incantation to yourself: everything that was said in this room will remain in this room.
Within a minute or two, a colleague will have a chance to recognize his/her mistake and apologize to you. It may take him/her a while, but for other witnesses it will become clear that you have great patience and boundless generosity.
2. Think about the reasons for the quarrel
After having avoided immediate quarreling and sobbing for no reason, take your time to reflect on where the problem came from. Misunderstandings due to criticism often arise due to the effect of surprise, when sharp remarks suddenly come up in a conversation.
The message, as well as the meaning of what was said, can be interpreted in different ways: a) the remark was intended to optimize your activity, which is useful for work; b) the one who loves and sincerely wants the best for you; c) this is a manifestation of an unresolved conflict, which is highly recommended to be brought to nought, without postponing.
3. Recognize the essence of communication
Human nature is such that ridicule and remarks spoil the mood of most of us, even if we manage to pretend in front of our friends and colleagues that we keep our temper. The good news is that you can use negative criticism for personal positive development, however, success directly depends on self-esteem.
Stop sulking and start introspection, answer the question honestly: why do you get hurt by such comments? Psychologists believe in this “sign”: if comments about character or behavior hurt, there may be some truth in them.