Shall you talk to him first? Is it ok to ask a man out? In spite of all the feminist stuff widespread out there, these are still common questions coming to a single woman’s mind. Forget all your grandma told you! Read on why it’s great if a woman takes the initiative when dating.
It scares away narcissists and sexists
You meet a nice man who could potentially become your partner. How to detect tyrants, sexists, narcissists and other kinds of men hating women and not respecting us easily? There are, unfortunately, no sure-proof means to prevent domestic violence, but there are some things women could to repellent men prone to it. One of them is women taking the initiative.
The future tyrants often attract women by being real gentlemen, bringing flowers and gifts, taking care of you and doing everything to develop a relationship. You think you’ve found a perfect man. But if a woman acts first, comes up to him and asks him out, very often men lose interest. Because a strong, active, confident and independent woman can’t be a good victim.
Another kind of „no-go“ men you could scare away with being active are sexists with a lot of stereotypes about how a woman should behave and look. These are those believing that the woman should be in the kitchen and taking care of the kids alone. Making the first step irritates them, and they often try to prove that this kind of behavior is unworthy. Thus, a girl understands that this man wasn’t even worth her time.
You Understand Your Own Desires Better
If you always communicate with those who chose you, how do you understand what you want in reality? Do you prefer nerds or brutal men? Serious ones or funny? Blond- or dark-haired?
When you act, you decide. And it’s only you who makes the choice. Nobody could force you.
You Decide How the Relationship Will Develop
If it’s the man who has always called first and asked you out, someday you’ll find yourself in the next stage. You wait for his call or message and are anxious if he doesn’t do it. When the man takes the first step in a relationship, quite often all the woman does is wait for him to take the second and third ones. And it gets more and more difficult to remind him of you: what if his silence means he’s not interested anymore?
But in case it was you who took the first step, the ball is on your side. You don’t wait for signs and signals but decide on your own what to do next and if you want to date him at all. If so, just call and let him know. That’s so easy!
Initiative Attracts Better Than High Heels, Curls and Dresses
When a woman takes an initiative, it’s already a statement that works as a bright plumage. So, you don’t need high heels and smokey eyes makeup in the morning. Because by being active you attract others’ attention in another way. And by doing this, you don’t spend a lot of energy and time.
You Cost More to Men
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean love for sale. The initiative makes men compete for women’s attention. Sometimes women make a man jealous and more interested by flirting with another guy. But don’t do too much. Just a compliment said to another man in the presence of the one you really desire would be enough.
If you pay attention to someone else, it could make your aimed guy more interested in you and, thus, more active too. „How come! If she’s so self-confident and open, I could lose her to someone else“, he might think. He’ll want to grab you before you’re gone with another guy.
Although this trick might work in some situations, we don’t prefer playing games in a relationship. Because once it gets more serious, tricks won’t work anymore. And the relationship will only work with a true interest form both sides not provoked by any manipulations.