You can get all kinds of dating advice once you’ve started delving for it in earnest. Like to never call a guy you like because he is sure to dislike your taking initiative. Or to grab the next man who comes along even if he doesn’t earn as much as you and uses a repellent scent because you will grow old if you settle only for Prince Charming. Or to shake off a nice guy who is very much into you but burned up and consequently hesitant.
Finally, you get flooded by all those hard-and-fast sure-fire rules and feel as if you had to take along a thick guideline book every time you go on a date. Dating tips can be compared only with dieting tips in terms of their overwhelming quantity. Impossible to follow them all even if you are eager to find love!
So if you feel really lost in the welter of well-meant but inefficient tips, why don’t you try a different approach? Instead of a set of rules, you’ll go in fear of breaking, embrace some principles that rather inspire than impose. These rules rely on understanding that gives insight into the complex world of dating.
If you go out of your way to show you are his kind of girl, he isn’t the right one for you
So you decided that you should be everything he longs for in his girl – then you surely are taken up with him! You have studied his tastes and you always go along with anything he suggests you both can do. At the beginning you forgo your preferences and try to assimilate the things he likes, it may even seem to be an exciting game to play – for a while. You even go carefully with cracking jokes and never insist on anything you may be wanting, however badly. Now if that’s your chosen strategy, it will result in your hating the fellow – all the more after you have broken up because this is what is bound to happen. Eventually, you will discover he didn’t like you much for all your efforts and it was you who created all the semblance of a relationship based around his lifestyle while he bore it indulgently.
He’s finding fault with you means he doesn’t like you; if he does, he appreciates all you do
Many men will certainly appreciate it if you call them to ask them out herself and are ready to end the first date between the sheets. It’s nice when you are so open about your affections, and a guy will be only too glad to take advantage of that. But what about you? You stick your neck out on that; you don’t know him well enough, and if you bet on him it’s a risk. Suppose he’s not into you that much, what then? You can be as nice as you can and become popular with his friends, but it won’t get you anywhere if he finds somebody he likes better.
Once you feel things go wrong, don’t tell yourself everything’s right
The feeling that the relationship that started off so well has been getting increasingly stale lately doesn’t deserve to be stuffed away out of sight at the back of your mind. All right, he is comfortably nice and good to have around, but if the initial excitement has worn off and there’s no chemistry between you, what can you do to mend it? Nothing. So don’t go fooling yourself that a falling building will stand up again and restore itself – let it fall.
Don’t chide yourself for feeling bad
If you are out of joint, you must be having a good reason for that. Get down to this reason instead of telling yourself you ought to be feeling on top of the world. Be honest with yourself instead of waiting for bad feelings to pass.
An open mind shouldn’t clash with standards
Looking for the right man for you often means swaying between your fixed standards and keeping your look fresh. So you’ve had a beautiful takeoff and it was great in bed, but then he becomes careless about calling you and your gut feeling tells you he’s slipping away. He’s not up to your expectations, then let him slip out of sight. On the other hand, if he’s honestly trying to be good to you, you can hand him another chance to meet your standards instead of altering them to arrange some kind of compromise. You have to make sure you don’t lose either by rigidly sticking to what you want or by trading your standards to keep what you have.
You are the center of your universe
He is somewhere on the outskirts. Even if he is close to you, he is one of the contestants for your big prize. If he wins you – fine; if he is slipping, remember that there are other contestants waiting for their chance.