You remained single for so long that for you it has become an indelible part of your life and an accepted status. Hopefully you are better suited to living a single life than most, and there are all those enjoyable aspects of living alone, when all you have to do is to make it comfy for yourself! There’s no-one to account to, no-one to wreak havoc with your daily plans. Yes, there are things to be said for living on your own. But now and then there crops up something that pushes your single state down your throat, making you frown dejectedly. What do we do to bring it back to single people that they are so? Quite a lot.
An invitation to a wedding with a plus-one
There’s nothing much to going to a wedding alone, but the reminder can be galling sometimes. Every time you have to send back the invitation card and tick the box telling the bride that you won’t be accompanied by anyone it is as if you were signing up your death sentence for one terrible moment. Really a trifle, but one to be better avoided, honestly speaking.
The wedding bouquet tradition
Have you ever been to a wedding where bouquet-tossing is not accompanied by playing “Single Ladies”? I guess not. There is nothing wrong with that tune, it’s just that it must needs be played, and there will be people eyeing you as soon as they hear it playing. At that instant you don’t want to catch the bouquet – just because.
Your BFF has a new boyfriend
This is commensurate with a small-scale catastrophe. No, with a great big one. Knowing this only is killing you, but then there will be conversations, descriptions, a fllod of things that will make your life darker.
Taking a look into the pantry
This is a sorry sight, indeed. There are a few bottles of wine that you bought for a lonely evening or for some unexpected but nice event; the rest is mostly empty boxes of takeout food which somehow didn’t get thrown away at the good time. Also the fridge contains takeout leftovers. What else can there be?
Those two-serving recipes
It’s really strange why almost all of the recipes – when you get around to cooking – are written out so that you get two servings, and the other one is clearly meant for your important other – who is missing. So there are two ways open for you: either you cut the amount of the ingredients in two or you have a meal ready for the next day. Well, you weren’t going to go out anyway.
Facebook sending endless happy notifications
It is a weekly reminder, for sure: people getting engaged, fixing a wedding date, or giving birth to a baby. You try not to look, but they just keep coming.
Holidays turn sour
The holiday you silently hate is St. Valentine’s Day, but it’s practically every blessed one of them, Christmas, Thanksgiving, whatever, when you are first shoved off to the tiniest bed because all your coupled guests occupy decent beds, and afterwards you get back to your empty place with the noise of the fun still ringing in your ears, and you know that you have a long lonely evening before you.
All these forms asking for emergency contact
It has to be your mother for – who remembers what time? Because your friends are married and with babies, and you hesitate to give their names, and the guy who is your latest good online friend – well, it’s nice to text him, but you simply want to have your eyebrows waxed, and the situation is not quite right. Oh, bother.
Every time you visit your parents
You can’t prevent this subject from being broached. Sooner or later, it will be like “How long do I have to wait before I see my grandchildren?” or “When I was young, me and all my friends were married with kids by this age.” No matter how much you enjoy your living just for yourself, your mom and dad are always able to make you feel bad.
So it’s another of those family events and all your siblings and other relatives arrive paired off while you are noticeably alone. Constant encouragements on the part of your parents to take a friend along are also irksome. So you make a good mien and come alone, and then you are likely to get the worst of the gathering in many ways, some of which you won’t even guess.
Unpleasant creepy creatures in the kitchen. Suddenly the toilet stops functioning properly. Water won’t drain down. No-one there to help you fix it; no-one there even to complain to before you brace yourself to deal with it.
It is getting colder
As the weather is turning colder and the season for cuddling is open, you feel it in your bones that Nature itself favors couples. So it’s for you to sulk in the evenings – or to come up with a brow-raising costume for Halloween so that couples would only have to stop and stare. Buying a warm blanket is what you can do to get ready.
Articles of clothing that require help
Zippers strategically placed on the back, which is good for the dress, but not for the donning of the dress. Tight clinging dresses that look so nice but require skillful putting on. Driving the hook into the eye that you can’t see. All these problems that are solved easily when you have someone to assist you can appear insurmountable when you’re alone – to the point of avoiding these kinds of clothing.
Failures with dates
It happens again and again: you go on a date and the guy is so boring that your desire to be on your own strengthens. It’s so much better to be by yourself in your apartment and get cozy on the couch with a bottle of your favorite wine and the latest blockbuster. Now you are satisfied… almost… until the next time you come across a situation enlisted here.