When you are single sometimes you feel perfectly happy and free; then again, there are times when sadness and bitterness get the better of you. You want to have company, maybe discuss your situation and even complain a bit (it’s perfectly all right). But the best of moods can break down when you hear a phrase that just rubs you the wrong way. Collected here are those guaranteed trigger-offs that should never be used on single ladies.
“How can it be that you are so gorgeous and yet single?”
It is intended as a compliment, but it is so grossly mistimed that you want to shout out loud. Yes, beautiful, and yes, alone, it can be, and I am the best instant of this. So don’t go feeding these inane platitudes.
“Why don’t you put yourself out more?”
Good idea. But it’s one that I already thought of, and it takes the right mood to do it. Dating is not working – I can forgo it when I don’t feel like it. If I’m out of relationship it doesn’t follow that I’ll be all out to get one immediately.
“I was already married at your age”
So what? It is fine as an introduction to a recollection, I’ll be glad to listen. But not as a crude comparison bearing a veiled advice which I don’t need.
“It will happen by itself, unexpectedly”
It can’t be true, for if I want to meet the right person, I’m sort of always expectant. The happy chance will have to work hard to catch me unawares. Maybe it will happen when I am not expecting it, after all, but now it sounds a bit stupid all the same.
“Maybe it’s easier to find a man you want online”
Maybe. Yet it doesn’t mean that I am ready to polish up my profile and begin the endless message game complete with cheating guys who hide behind someone else’s photos. I’ll set about it when I come round to it without outside advice.
“Tinder? What’s this?”
You may really not know for a good reason, but please, find it out for yourself and spare me the explanation. It’s not classified info.
“I can’t picture myself without a partner any more”
I’m glad you can’t. Do you want me to describe the sensation to you in much detail? You don’t? Let’s drop the subject, then. Or experiment with the idea on your own.
“More dates should be the answer”
Pile up numbers? But what about quality? Why should a constant string of meaningless dates be emotionally satisfying or guarantee me that wonderful ultimate find? Get about and understand that it is leading me nowhere isn’t really the best advice.
“You aren’t being too choosy?”
Probably I am – because I don’t want just somebody. Yes, I have my set of expectations, like everybody else, and I mean to stick by them. What’s wrong with this attitude?
“There are a lot of good guys around, how come you can’t attract one?”
I don’t need lots of them, one good guy will do. So, the name of the game is search and choose. I may be doing it right now – or I may be still enjoying my lonely life. The right moment doesn’t have to come now. Better wait awhile than feed yourself with statements like this.