Many go into marriages with the idea of a happily ever after, and a smooth sailing ride for the rest of their lives. Unfortunately and sadly, almost 50% of marriages now end in divorce. Whilst this is indeed heart-wrenching, it is always important to know that if you are going through a separation, you are not alone, a failure or a bad person.
In some situations, divorce is absolutely necessary, and no one should feel like any less of a person for making such a decision. Relationships are difficult, and marriages even more so. A divorce is not the end of the world, and a Melbourne family lawyer that you can rely on has shared with us six things that you can learn through divorce, so read on to find out more.
1. You Cannot Change Your Partner
When all else fails, and everything you have tried doesn’t work, you have to come to grips with the fact that you cannot change your partner. No matter how much you try, someone can only change if they want to. Love alone often is not enough to change a person’s basic nature and their upbringing. If your partner is the complete opposite of you, or has values that are not in sync with your own, know that it is often far too difficult to get your partner to change their core beliefs or values.
Unfortunately, these differences, over time, tend to eat away at loving feelings and erode any positive feelings in your relationship. The time has come to finally accept that you cannot change someone, and that you will find someone who compliments you in the future.
2. Healing Takes Time
It is very important that you give yourself the adequate time that is needed to heal from a divorce. Divorce can often feel like you have experienced a death, or in this case, the death of a relationship. You need to give yourself time to mourn – shout, cry, scream even if you have to.
Never bottle up your feelings and realise that you will pull through this and come out a stronger person. As cliched as it sounds, you need to find happiness on your own instead of looking for someone to make you happy. Once you learn to be happy on your own, you will be able to find someone to join you in your happiness.
3. Learn From Your Mistakes
Often times, divorce happens because both parties in the marriage have made mistakes.
Whilst it is no competition or blame game, you must always realise and accept the part that you played in the failure of your marriage. Once you decide to examine your own pride and dissolve it in the face of your adversity, you will be a better person.
You will learn from your mistakes and this will ensure that you do not bring the same mistakes into future relationships. Self reflection is key, and it is never shameful to admit that you have done something wrong – if anything, it is the most respectable thing anyone could do.
4. Practice Forgiveness
It is all too easy to live in hatred and despise your partner whilst going through a divorce.
It is tempting to blame them for everything, and paint them to be the most awful person you have ever met. Harbouring negative feelings is a sure-fire way of wearing yourself down. You know what they say, forgiveness is more for yourself than it is for someone else. Practice forgiveness and have some compassion – hatred doesn’t get anyone anywhere. You will be a happier person for it, we promise.
5. Don’t Give Up On Your Dreams
Did you have dreams and aspirations that you wanted to achieve with your partner?
Who is to say you cannot accomplish those dreams on your own? Don’t wait for someone else to enjoy your life. Go forth and do everything that you want to do, whether you have someone by your side or not. You only have one life, and there is no time for waiting around. Do not ever think that if you never find that special someone, your dreams don’t have the worth to happen with your single self.
6. Nothing Lasts Forever
If there is one last thing you can learn from divorce, it is that nothing lasts forever.
Sometimes, even if we try to work against fate, things will come to an end. There is a beginning to everything, and there is an end. Once we come to grips with this, life will sail a lot smoother for us.
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We hope that these 6 tips from the experts will help you in your journey through divorce. Always remember, divorce is not the end of the world – if anything, it is the start of the new beginning.
