To be more discerning, some groups of people show a higher level of infidelity compared to other people. To be less discerning, many different people cheat. But for that, they ought to have a special set of cheating traits.
To avoid any repercussions later on, the couple should confer about the meaning of infidelity. People are apt to define it differently: while men react badly to physical infidelity, women tend to feel emotional diversions. It’s not always easy to tell where exactly infidelity begins. A little knowledge of psychology can go a long way towards a better understanding.
Cheaters are not exactly famous for agreeableness and conscientiousness
Many psychologists concur that the metric known as “big five” is the most effective one covering personality types quite well. Those individuals who show poor scores on agreeableness and conscientiousness simultaneously, according to the research, show a definite propensity for cheating. If you are interested, go for the “big-five” 25-minute test on Psychology Today and see if you fare like you should.
There is little closeness between you
One of the worst signs is when you notice that your lives run on different lines. How meaningful are your conversations and meetings? Or do you just exchange platitudes? If you are not open, receptive – and even vulnerable – with each other, your relationship is built on sand rather than rock.
Differences are regarded as defects
You should think twice before putting much trust in the “opposites attract” maxim. At first, it may seem that people on the opposite side of the scale can provide a perfect balance – but what worked well, in the beginning, might turn sour with the passing of time, and you will look on their differences as bad shortcomings.
They exhibit narcissistic manners
Mark shifts in behavior. Those predisposed to narcissistic behaviors usually believe that their needs are all-important, and other people are there to help them satisfy the current need. You may not know a person for a narcissist, but when he or she feels that you failed to meet their need, they will turn elsewhere disregarding your attitude to that completely.
The poor ability for empathy
Most cheaters do not seem to be able to see their partner’s perspective. A man who is devoid of empathy doesn’t even begin to understand how their partners might feel if they went for something they shouldn’t. So once you noticed that your partner is unable to shift over to your point of view and predict your reaction to their untoward behavior, reconsider your relationship with him.
There are men around who honestly believe they are a level above others – and, sure enough, they think they are free to cheat because they can always get away with it. All they are looking for is the validation of their sexual prowess, for which they need several partners.
Impulsive attitude to life
We all realize that people given to impulsive behavior do not have time enough to consider what repercussions they may trigger. Without giving it a serious thought, they get involved in provoking situations and never look back.
Looking for thrills
Monogamy is mostly about routine for those who can appreciate it, it has its own excitement, but obviously not enough for everyone. There are individuals who grow bored; cheating promises them excitement, and they succumb to the temptation.
Fearing long-term attachment
Men who do their best to evade steady attachments can resort to any kind of ruse, small or large. They forget to call back – well, things do get forgotten, but they don’t forget, they know very well they won’t do it. It’s really typical for a commitment-fearing person. They will always find excuses why they don’t keep up their relationships.
It often goes back to a parent who either satisfied their every wish and never gave them a chance to develop responsibility, or paid no attention to their needs thereby causing them to look upon their gender as rankling and unpleasant.
Subconscious or conscious self-destruction
Individuals who aim to self-destruct do it in any way imaginable. They ruin their health, they make financially subversive decisions, but they also lead their relationships to the rocks – often by being unfaithful.
Craving for endless drama
Those who are ever on the look-out for new dramatic relationships are those who can’t stand stability. They may admit or deny their craving for drama, yet they are invariably playing it up. Emotional tumult around them is what they batter on.
Cheater’s High Masters and Mistresses
Inveterate cheaters are remarkable for a complete absence of any feeling of guilt. They pile up lie upon lie, having cheated, they aim at the next cheat almost immediately, and they don’t have any time for remorse. When they realize they pulled off their next trick successfully, they smirk and move on.
Once you’ve noticed that your partner displays no guilt over their dishonest dealings at work or in creating a dubious situation, mind that they may feel just as negligent about having you on as well. And find it funny afterward.
Usually, people keep on deceiving because they derive acute pleasure from fooling others. They actually get high on it as they would from taking alcohol or substances. For this reason, the phenomenon is known as the “cheater’s high”.
Craving for attention
The principal sign to know with people who want to be in the center of things is that they will subscribe to anything not to remain alone. You are dating someone who exchanged one partner for another as soon as the former one was gone? This could easily mean that this sort of narcissistic person craves being the cynosure of everybody’s eye.
The worst possible thing for them is to be left stranded – and a second relationship provides them with a sort of guarantee that they won’t end up left on the shore. If it can result in their being caught out and abandoned by people who have been cheated doesn’t cut any ice with them. They can’t but ensure they have a relationship to fall back upon.
To round it off
There are no hard-and-fast signs that could help you spot a cheater. Both loyal and unfaithful people don’t wear it on their sleeves for all to see.
When you begin to have premonitions about your future with a specific partner, take tie off, sit down and have it out with them. Discuss your doubts, suspicions, fears, mark out your boundaries, and see if your honesty and open-handedness will be reciprocated in kind.