For some reason, most women consider it humiliating to ask their gentleman for something – they say, if he loves, he will guess. However, as psychologists assure, this approach ultimately leads to the fact that the man does not understand what his partner wants from him, the woman takes offense and accumulates resentment while the relations eventually fade away. Geniusbeauty.com is going to tell you how to change your attitude to requests and which of your desires should be shared with your partner.
Intimacy and understanding
The fact that you started dating a man does not mean that you are ready for any sexual experiments, or for intimacy in general. All people have their own ideas about when you can afford an intimate relationship. If you are not ready to comit, tell your partner about it honestly. If something doesn’t suit you sexually, you can also discuss it with your chosen one (this is much more honest than keeping everything to yourself and sobbing in the bathroom after each sexual contact).
Perhaps your partner would be glad to meet your needs, but he doesn’t know what you like or dislike. Believe it, a man who appreciates and respects you will never do anything against your will. On the contrary, he will appreciate your openness and will help you.
Fidelity and mutual respect
You may or even have the right to voice your desire to stick to monogamy in a relationship. The point here is not only in your mental anguish over possible cheating, but in the intimate safety and the risk of getting infected with something unpleasant. After all, it is no secret that many diseases are much easier to cope with if you are a man (you may not even be susceptible to them). On the contrary, women suffer a lot and visit doctors each time their partner affords himself a side romance.
Therefore, discuss these issues in advance and explain that maintaining loyalty (and mutual respect) is important for you; say that you believe in the “cleanliness” of your relationship. So, if your gentleman cannot accept this situation, it means he does not value you that much.
A proposal of marriage
If you are not inclined to have an affair, but want to see the person next to you as a husband, tell him about it directly. Do not be afraid that such straightforwardness will scare the man away – if he escapes, it was not your best choice.
You should trust yourself and your feelings and not be shy to discuss the moments that concern you directly. It is clear that you should not push your partner to a responsible step or propose to him (although history knows many similar cases when ladies took the initiative in their hands).
It is a matter of clearly expressing your position that, for example, you are not ready for the role of a lover/cohabitant/girlfriend, and if he does not consider you as his legal wife, you are not meant to be together. Do not accept dubious prospects, including long-term cohabitation, which seldom develops into something bigger than that.
Non-interference of his family in your life
Even if your man loves his mother (which, in fact, is very meritorious), do not let her command you and dictate how you should build the relationship with her son, how to live or raise her grandchildren. Report to your soulmate that you respect his relatives, but it will be better if they do not interfere in your life.
Similarly, do not let your family dictate to you and your partner what to do in a given situation. Of course, they can give you advice, but it’s up to you to decide whether to follow it or not.
Joint plans for the future
It’s normal that you have certain plans and an understanding of how you see your future. There is nothing wrong with telling your man about this. After all, the sooner you discuss how you see your relationship in the future, the sooner you will realize whether this person is the one you need.
Psychologists claim that there is nothing worse than understanding that you have spent years of your life with the wrong man and have not realized even a half of what you dreamed about. Therefore, discuss the prospects in advance and find a common ground that would suit both of you (instead of forgetting about yourself and your dreams for your partner’s sake).
The appearance of heirs
The opportunity to become a mother and have as many children as they can afford is a concern for most women. If men are quite calm about childbirth, ladies should foresee all the nuances in advance and discuss everything with their gentleman. For example, what will happen if the baby appears unplanned, or, conversely, if she cannot become pregnant for a few years? What if, for some reason, the partners won’t be able to have children at all – will they consider adoption or surrogacy?
It is better to discuss all these questions with your partner in advance in order to understand whether he is ready to take responsibility for someone else besides himself, whether he wants children at all, or he is not ready to become a father under any circumstances.
Psychologists remind that there is nothing wrong about openly sharing your desire to become a mother with your man and asking him to help make this dream come true. If he really loves you, he will be enthusiastic about your dream.
Help and support
It often happens that a man takes on the role of the head of the family, but he does it literally – he brings money to the family, and everything else does not concern him. Therefore, a woman has to take care of all domestic issues, raise children, plan another family vacation, move to a new apartment or repair the old one. The man just pays for the processes and does not bother about such nonsense.
At the same time, the woman can also work and build a career. Why is she obliged to control other processes in the family? Sooner or later, this will lead to a nervous breakdown and a desire to escape from this relationship.
In order not to take the situation to the extreme and not to turn yourself into a driven horse, talk with your partner about sharing duties. Explain that you do not intend to voluntarily turn into a slave and remind him that you also need support (and some rest). You will have more time for yourself then. In addition, according to experts, joint work and chores make people better and bring them together.