One percent of the world’s population is psychopaths. A psycho is not the person who is waiting for you with a knife in a dark stairwell. This is neither a serial killer nor a madhouse patient. It could be your colleague, who can get away with any monkey business at work. Somebody’s “ideal” ex-girlfriend, who suddenly escaped with another guy. Or an ordinary man who made you coffee in the morning.
Who are psychopaths?
There is only one distinction between a normal person and a psychopath – psychopaths have no conscience. They hurt people and do not feel the slightest remorse or guilt. They know how to simulate normal human emotions, but do not feel them in reality. Compassion, love, trust, forgiveness are the emotions that make you vulnerable, but psychopaths use them to affect you.
Any casual observer will not be able to identify a psychopath. They often are nice, friendly and charming people. But if you make friends with such a person, your life turns into a nightmare. Your fabulous relationship mutates into a mess of cruel mind games. Does it seem any familiar to you? Here are 10 signs that should warn you about dating with a psychopath. The information is collected on the basis of real-life stories and interviews on the Psychopath Free site.
1. He surrounds you with declarations of love and compliments. You think that this is the perfect partner for you
When you first meet a psychopath, things are moving rapidly. He tells you that you have a lot in common, that you are perfect for each other. Like a chameleon, he reflects your hopes, dreams, and fears in order to form a trusting and exciting relationship. He always wants to chat with you and seems completely fascinated with you. Your Facebook is littered with songs, compliments, poems and sweet jokes that only you two can understand.
2. He hunts for your emotions, telling pitiful stories
You will quickly discover a place in your heart for sympathizing with him. He’s so sweet and innocent. His is not the cinematic image of a psychopath – a violent man with a contemptuous smile in an expensive car. He is sure to mention about his ex-girlfriend, who is still in love with him. But all he wants is peace and quietness; he hates drama. However, you will soon notice that dramatic stories are constantly surrounding him and the people close to him.
3. He draws you into a love triangle
Once you are hooked, you get into a love triangle. A psychopath surrounds himself with former and potential lovers, and anyone who pays attention to him. There will be ex-girlfriends whom he told you about, assuring you that you are superior to them in everything. You’ll feel embarrassed, and you will have the impression that he is always interesting to the opposite sex.
4. He always distorts reality and behaves abnormally
A psychopath always denies that he is manipulating you and even ignores actual evidence of this. He responds with criticism and contempt, if you try to accuse him of story-telling and provide facts. He will pin all accusations on you: you are too impressionable and cannot adequately perceive the situation. He will convince you that the problem is not in him, but in your wrong reaction to normal events.
5. He accuses you of the emotions that he himself provokes
A psychopath says that you are too jealous, though he openly flirted with his ex-girlfriend, even in social networks so that everybody could see that. He will say that you are too clingy after he deliberately ignored you for several days. He stimulates your reaction to show others that you are hysterical and to gain sympathy. Did you think you were a calm person? Dating with a psychopath will change you beyond recognition. Fortunately, this effect is temporary.
6. You notice pathological lies and excuses
He always has an excuse, even in the situations where it is not required. He comes up with another lie faster than you can ask questions. He always blames others and says he has nothing to do with the problem. He spends much time finding an explanation of his behavior instead of trying to improve it. Even in case of evident blatant lies, he does not express remorse or embarrassment. Sometimes it seems that he wants to be disclosed.
7. He provokes jealousy and rivalry, keeping the mask of innocence
At first, the psychopath’s attention is focused on you. And you do not understand what is happening when he suddenly switches to another person. He always does things that make you doubt that you mean at least anything to him. If he is active in social networks, he lures his former lovers with songs, pictures, jokes, which used to be significant for their couple. He seems to be in active search of a partner, thus ignoring you.
8. He grabs your attention and undermines self-esteem
First, he knocks you down with a flow of admiration, and then you become uninteresting to him. You feel hurt because you have welcomed this passionate relationship. Now you feel nothing but his housekeeper.
9. A psycho is selfish and requires constant attention to himself
He has sucked all the energy out of you and filled your life with himself. He requires being constantly worshipped. You thought you were the only person that could make him happy, but now you understand that any woman on earth is able to perform this role perfectly well. The truth is that no one can fill the void in the soul of a psychopath.
10. You do not recognize yourself
Your love and compassion have turned into overwhelming panic and anxiety. You apologize and cry more than ever in your life. You do not sleep and wake up in a bad and disturbed mood. You cannot understand what happened to you and where your funny, relaxed, and quiet personality has disappeared. After talking with a psychopath, you feel exhausted, devastated and deprived of adequate perception of the world. Life turns upside down: you spend money and lose your friends and family, constantly looking for the cause of these actions.
A relationship with a psychopath is a black hole. No matter how hurt you may feel, you will always be blamed for everything. He ignores your best qualities, and you suffer from growing self-doubt. In fact, you are changing beyond recognition. You’ll need a long time to heal the trauma this relationship has caused; you will feel that you will never feel all right again.
But you can restrain your nerves. First, eliminate all contacts with a psychopath: correspondence, letters and even “spying” for him in social networks. Initially you will find it unbearably hard, but eventually relief will come. You will feel that you return to sanity and remove chaos from your life. This experience may ultimately be useful. You will learn to appreciate yourself and set boundaries for psychopaths to prevent them from violating your comfort.