With that being said I have a question of my own: Why won’t my boyfriend take the time to give me what /I/ need?

Now, before women start trash-talking men and men start telling me [women] to lay off, let me elaborate.

My boyfriend and I of nearly seven years have been faithfully devoted to each other for all this time. Like usual couples, we’ve had our ups and downs, sometimes one more than the other. To throw into the mix, a year into dating I became pregnant and we have a beautiful five-year-old together. Getting to our sex lives, everything was about equality, as it should be. It was always, “I’m happy to make you happy, that is my only concern.” Sex became less frequent during the later parts of my pregnancy six years ago due to discomfort and healing factors afterward, but then everything went back to normal.

But over the years the sex has been a bit “wonky.” We’ve shamelessly opened new doors to new fetishes and desires that we both agree on, and others we don’t particularly, but we act upon them for the sake of our “other half.” Lately, it’s been more of a chore to keep me satisfied.

Understandably, women have different libidos than men and can be a bit more difficult to /truly/ satisfy. I can understand the frustration men must feel and even perhaps a lessening of confidence in the matter, but please don’t take that the wrong way. It’s just as difficult for us to NOT be, quote-on-quote as easily pleased.

So, back to my question. My boyfriend will expect me to tend to his needs, especially “on-the-go” [i.e.: before going out, before work, etc]. Oral, or four play, such as hand-jobs, etc. Sure. I love you and I will be more than happy to accommodate you. Now although we may act like we expect nothing in return, really, that’s a farce and everyone guiltily knows it. We /WANT/ the same type of pleasure and attention given back in return, whether it be a few hours from then, later that night or the following day. But like any other human being, we cannot wait forever before beginning to question ourselves.

Upon giving him such satisfaction, getting him to “go down south” or any hand-play is like yanking teeth. I won’t say that he does NO foreplay or oral at all because that’s untrue, but it’s small ministrations before jumping readily or not readily into sex. Am I satisfied during intercourse? Yes, but am I asking for more than that? Absolutely.

Am I wrong for wanting oral or foreplay without having to please my boyfriend immediately after or during like I do for him?

But I get the “IOU, love,” a chaste kiss to the head, and then it could be several days to more than a week before I get any flirtatious ministrations. This puts a HUGE dip in my self-esteem as it would any other woman or man, so I’m constantly left wondering, “Am I not doing something right? Am I gross down there? /What’s wrong with me?/”

I feel almost that perhaps it’s just too “troublesome” to take time in making sure I’m satisfied outside of intercourse because it can take us females a bit longer to get fired up. But this mostly true fact shouldn’t make me look down upon myself and wonder why am I being neglected?

If anyone, male or female, has thoughts or opinions they’d like to share, I would very much appreciate it.