Marriage poses quite a few debatable questions, not the least important of them is your dear husband’s surname – what would be better, to take it or to stay on with your own? This issue does take some ruminating over, and if it’s your problem, here are some factors worth considering before you take a leap.
Of course the first thing that comes to mind is how we – when at school – used to scribble our names preceded by “Mrs.” or even try out famous names as if we already had a right to them… How many just invented beautifully-sounding names? Oh, OK, it’s past, and now we are more reasonable about it and ready to weigh traditional approach to adopting the man’s name against remaining with our own.
Here is an assortment of arguments both pro and con, see which of them will give out the vibes you relate to.
Arguments for changing your surname
You don’t care for your own name. If your name is a mouthful of mounting consonants, inviting others to mis-pronounce or misspell it, or seems to you to be very common or extremely outlandish, then you’ve got a nice chance to put it behind you. The same goes if you don’t want the name’s reputation to trail behind you.
You want a change. Marriage provides enough of those, but trying on a new identity with a new name can be an exciting game. You needn’t think that you will be losing any part of yourself or tying yourself up to a new group of people inexorably. It shouldn’t appear as something treacherous or give rise to misgivings.
Acquiring a new family identification. It can make a pleasant bond for your new family and make you feel much more “into it.” Also, when children start to arrive, you will avoid unnecessary bickering over whose surname they will take.
Enjoy monogramming. How about having a lot of various house utensils monogrammed with your common initial? You may ultimately like it even if you haven’t given it a thought before. It does give a certain chic to your place.
People will address you Mrs. Husband anyway. A 2009 survey revealed that almost 80% of Americans believe that brides should change their names after weddings, so you will have people calling you by your husband’s last name habitually. You will have to lump it or get into the habit of setting them right.
Arguments against taking husband’s surname
He has got an unpleasant name. Or, alternatively, it doesn’t go well with your Christian name. You won’t want to move out of comfort zone then, and your perspective husband ought to understand why you want to retain your maiden name.
You’ve got a name you love. If you were named happily and your full name sounds well, why change it? Some women are sentimental about their names, or they don’t want to lose a name which is uncommon and individual. Besides, some names have family histories attached to them or carry ethnic values.
It may interfere with your professional image. If your name play a certain role in your business affairs it may be too inconvenient for you to lose its reputation or explain to a lot of people what has transpired in your life. There may be reams of documents carrying your name which will need re-doing. Oh bother.
You have a long family line and feel responsible for carrying it on. You family is proud of its last name and are very considerate about it. Nobody will be happy about breaking off a family line. Try arguing your husband into adopting your name! In any case, there is no sound argument against using your last name as your children’s middle name.
What about the nuisance of changing your papers? Of course, it is done very often, but if you strongly object to changing all your credit cards, insurance policies, driving license and heaps of other documents, it may be a good reason to save yourself the inconvenience.