What should happen for a man to decide that this is not just a fleeting affair but the woman of his life? Willard Harley, in his book, “His Needs, Her Needs Participant’s Guide: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage“, talks about the five needs of men and women in marriage. According to Harley, when a man meets a woman who meets his – often subconscious – list of requirements, then he makes a proposal. Therefore, women, married or not, need to keep in mind the five main reasons why men marry.
1. Sexual satisfaction
Sex is not the main thing, but it is the skeleton of the relationships, without which it is impossible to build the muscles of a strong family system. Since childhood, all girls are told that a man needs only one thing from them: sex. Actually, no. Sex is not the main thing for men. After all, there is always porn and masturbation. However, it is important for them to give pleasure, see their woman‘s happy eyes after an orgasm, hug her and hear that it was fantastic.
2. A companion
Eric Bern, one of the most famous psychologists of the twentieth century, the author of the transactional analysis, said that we live in the same way as we structure our free time. It is this idea that grows into a statement: if a couple has common interests, they will live long and happily. For example, it’s great if he is a fisherman and she likes to spend time on the beach with a book. They may have got acquainted at the cynological forum discussing the upcoming dog show. Alternatively, they may play a network game together or both adore watching detective series. All in all, you understand the underlying thought: a man wants his wife to share his hobbies and spend some free time with him.
3. Attractive wife
It is probably the most controversial idea for feminists – a woman perceived as an object by a man. However, nothing can be done here: the Institute of marriage dates back to the patriarchal times. There is only one remark – she should be attractive, first of all, for him, and not for others.
For someone, attractive means tall with small breasts. For someone, it is a wasp waist and wide hips. Others like big eyes and plump lips. All in all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. That is, if you are loved, they will adore your every curve, curl or mole, and if you are not, then neither perfect looks nor a mane of long hair or Brazilian epilation is able to save the relationship.
4. Household and everyday life
Again, feminists should not read this. For many men, it is important that they have clean home smelling of freshly prepared dinner or cinnamon buns. Shirts should be ironed, lessons – prepared, and most importantly, there is peace and rest. No one, especially his woman, should get under his skin. Let the whole world wait behind the door of his house.
This has been happening since time immemorial when he pulled pieces of meat into the cave, where the fire and his woman were waiting for him. For a man, his house is his fortress. It is there that he rests and restores his energy so that in the early morning he is ready to fight with office weekdays or work in the field of his own business.
5. Recognition of his merits and admiration
It turns out that it is very important for men to be admired. Who would have thought? He is no longer small and you are not his mom to rejoice at how skillfully he scored a goal at the training with the same forty-somethings or how he drifted on the ice or performed at the negotiations so that his entire department will receive a quarterly reward.
How skillfully he cooked meat at the weekend grill-party! How he finally fixed the splashing faucet, trying to please you! Do you get the idea? Nature does not tolerate emptiness, so your man’s every action deserves your sincere admiration.
Instead of the conclusion
This article is by no means a manual for manipulating a man. The man is not a phone, and you cannot send a message by pressing the button. A man, if you love him, is at least worthy of respect. Just as worthy as you are. Of course, you do not have to satisfy his every need to get the cherished proposal and be long and happily married. In fact, women also have their five reasons to marry a particular man. Find out which in Willard Harley’s books.