It penetrates life unnoticed. In the form of the pages of unfamiliar girls in the history of his browser, correspondence with “the classmate whom he has not seen for ages,” persistent likes on someone else’s Instagram account. This is microcheating. It is not enough for a separation, but over time the unpleasant episodes accumulate and destroy confidence. It is more difficult to react to such behavior than to sheer betrayal. That’s how you can resist microcheating in a relationship.
Be ready for him to say: “It does not mean anything”
The main argument of the defense in the microcheating case is that there was no sex, and therefore, there was no corpus delicti. It is difficult to prove that cheating is possible without an intimate contact because the evidence is ambiguous. Has he pressed the “Like” button under a girl’s photo? Has he accidentally pressed it when scrolling down the news feed? Five times in a row? The sensor seems to be completely out of control!
Of course, a couple of likes are not an excuse for hysterics. But when microcheating is consistent, they accumulate and turn into a disrespectful attitude towards you.
Your boyfriend may not understand what offends you
Some people simply cannot resist flirting. They do not pay much attention to their friendly style of communication, and, without knowing it, they send mixed signals. If your partner is a cheerful person, he may not even realize that he offends you while joking with other girls. However, this character trait manifests itself at the first acquaintance rather than after a year of the relationship. If his words “this means nothing to me” sound too convincing, perhaps it is really so. It’s time to discuss the boundaries and explain to the partner that good boys do not behave that way.
Explain how you feel
Try to avoid accusations because it immediately forces the guy to try and protect himself. Concentrate on how you feel. Try to explain how his behavior affects your relationship and what you would like from him in return. You do not have to argue about whether this act is considered cheating or not. Much more important is how you both feel about this. If a man values you, it will not be difficult for him to stop acting like an asshole.
Make sure that it’s not you
Before an unpleasant conversation, think again about everything that is happening to you and make sure that this is not your paranoia. Sometimes jealousy does not have a specific reason if there are deeper reasons: your partner’s distrust, the fear of being alone, and insecurity. Maybe the problem is in your head rather than in his behavior. It is important to admit that everyone can face cheating. Monitoring his activity in social networks or telephone surveillance will not reduce this probability. Trust your intuition and do not neglect common sense.
Think about what might be causing his behavior
When everything is good in a relationship, flirting with other people or friendship with the opposite sex does not matter much. However, if you previously have not noticed such behavior on your boyfriend’s part, the point may be in his dissatisfaction, and it’s not about sex. A new penfriend, a close relationship with a colleague may mean that he lacks communication or understanding in your relationship. Unfortunately, any emotional intimacy risks developing into a romantic one, so it’s worth talking about what is happening.
Discuss the boundaries of what is permissible
It is not clear when it is worth discussing the boundaries of acceptable behavior. Moreover, everyone has their own boundaries. But if the guy has already broken them, be sure that the time has come. After an honest conversation, he will no longer be able to pretend that he did not want to offend you and did it unintentionally.
Microcheating does not necessarily http://womendialogue.com/2018/05/18/love-dating/everyday-habits-destroy-relationships/destroy the relationship, but it can alienate you from each other. If you feel anxious, it is better to talk directly about what is happening to you, rather than worry about guessing. Even if we are not talking about physical intimacy with another girl, do not let the partner devalue your emotions and say that this is the norm.