The first, second , and (…)th date is behind, and you’re ready to share your budget, bed and household duties with the man. However, he does not hurry to give you a second key to his apartment. How to convince a man to move in together? We know five sure ways.
1.Talk about the pluses of living together
The main rule of the conversation is no pressure and emotion, just calm reasoning. Tell him about all the pros he will get moving in with you, such as financial gain or a more comfortable living environment.
The list of these “bonuses” depends, of course, on your man: if he takes into consideration his family’s opinion, say that this step will elevate him in the parents’ eyes. If he likes to spend time with friends, promise you will hold noisy parties at home.
However, omit the reasons why you would want to live together – a man does not need to know about those. Do not use the “I-position” in a conversation, i.e. phrases like “I want to see you more often.” Mention what it will give your partner or both of you as a couple. For example, “we can spend more time together.”
Perhaps the partner will not decide immediately, but will take a little time out. In psychology, this is called withdrawing into “the cave.” It is no good trying to get him out of this “cave”. Let him have some time to himself – this is how men take important decisions. Do not press the partner for an answer, he will give it to you not later than in two weeks.
2. Surround him with care
In some cases, to convince a man to live together is possible with deeds, not words. Give him a feeling that he will be much more comfortable with you than apart. It should be unobtrusive care, pleasant things associated with daily life. Do them regularly so that the man quickly realizes his need for your constant presence.
Think about the partner’s character and your goals. Do you want the man to move in with you? Treat him with delicious homemade cuisine or make sandwiches for snacking in the office. Planning to move into his apartment? Help him clean up the mess in the utensil box or the dressing room: when a stack of ironed linen in the closet suddenly ends, he will most likely want it to appear there again.
3. Gradually conquer the territory
If you want to move in with a man, you can slowly fill his living space with your own or your common things. Start with the interior: buy a couple of cups or a lamp together – when the partner sees these things he will subconsciously associate them with you.
A little later, you can “accidentally leave” your things at his place: a nightgown, a cream, or a warm sweater. However, do not go to extremes – scattered tights and cosmetics will rather cause the opposite effect. Men are not fools.
If you are planning to live with your man at your place, psychologists advise to do the opposite: make your territory comfortable for him. The partner will most likely want to stay for a long time, if your apartment associates with home, a comfortable place where he is waited for. Persuade your man to leave a couple of T-shirts, buy a toothbrush for him, and meet him with a delicious dinner after work.
4. Make friends with his mom
You will benefit from such friendship anyway. Men often listen to the family’s opinion, though they try not to show it. Therefore, his parents’ approval and a few phrases like “it’s time you settled down son,” can make the partner think about living together.
However, this method is not the quickest one. It is often difficult to get along with the partner’s parents. Your task is to make his family understand that you are not going to take away their son, but just want to surround him with extra care.
5. Live together for a few days
It doesn’t matter where: at his or your place, or on a short holiday. A weekend out of town can be a good chance to rest and show your homemaking skills. It is important to plan leisure and think of the details of household, as well.
Watch the man: what aspects of household are primary and secondary for him? Focusing on these points, it will be easier to plan living together and sharing household responsibilities.
What you should not do during this “test drive” is to try to influence his habits. He throws his things around? Sharp remark will only spoil everything. Just collect them or joke about this. Besides, think well: if it irritates you so, are you ready to move in with the man now?